HSV GTS

Yesterday Hubby and I decided that we would test drive a new car.  It would be his new car, so he was after something a little sportier than average.  Of course, a high end European sports car would be desirable, but that kind of money is really hard to justify, particularly when you have kids, who will no doubt just want to borrow the damn thing, which in turn will lead to endless nights of sleeplessness and anxiety over their welfare!  So instead, Hubby trudged the internet and found a car that would rival the performance of a European sports car, for at least $100k LESS.  Gotta be happy with that.  Enter the HSV GTS.  When our babysitter turned up, we headed into the city to HSV headquarters and our fun began.

Of course, regular readers will know how pregnant I am.  Very.  Undeniably.  Ready to go.  The salesman also realised this and so the first question he asked as we pulled out of the car yard was, "what kind of test drive do you want?"

Hubby tried to suppress  his childish grin as M (the salesman) asked, 'performance or normal test?'

"Performance" was all hubby had to say.  We went to some kinda back roads and M explained the test we would take ... "zero to 100, cornering at about 120 and braking whilst doing about 100-110 ..."  M glanced at me, "will you be ok with that?" he asked.  "Yeah, sure" I answered (also grinning like a freakin' idiot).

You see I fit into a strange category of women ... I LOVE fast cars.  Powerful cars.  Sexy cars.  I want to wear a mini skirt and thigh high boots and step out of a sexy car after having pulled up from some astronomical speed!

The test began.  This GTS can accelerate to 100 kph in just under 5 seconds.  And it was proved to us!  Fucking hot.  Smoking hot.  M then took a corner at 125 kph and the car was glued to the road.  The he braked, hard, at about 105kph.  We stopped on a dime.  Awesome stuff.  Damn!

Then it was hubby's turn to drive.  We got onto the freeway and he let it go as much as he could.  Unfortunately most WA drivers suck (right hand lane at 80ks) but he got it up to 125 in 4th gear, with shit loads of torque and 2 gears to spare!) easy!  Nice smooth ass ride.

We returned to the yard and talked turkey.  We learnt that if we ordered new we would get a BIGGER engine.  Bigger.  Hot damn!

We haven't decided if we will buy this car yet.  But if we do, at least 2 things will occur.  1, hubby's age will decrease about 10 years and 2, I will be taking out a rather large life insurance policy on him!!

Shoe obsession

It came to my attention a short while ago, that I may be influencing Babygirl (she is 15 months) to take up an obsession at too young an age.  Babygirl is obsessed with shoes.

Yes, obsessed.  Doesn't matter who they belong to our where she finds them.  Way too big or too small, she MUST try them on!  

Being summer here and hot as anything, havaianas are my shoe of choice (also for the comfort factor).  And being the cheapest brand of shoes I buy, I have a lot of pairs of them (for those of you who don't know what they are, havaianas are thongs or flip flops), often left lying around in various spots around the house!

Babygirl finds them.  She tries to put them on.  Of course they don't fit, they are way too big and her toes are so tiny that a little bit of rubber wouldn't go between them.  But she persists, and boy does she crack the shits when she can't walk in them!!  She carries them around with her and wants to take them to bed with her.  She holds shoes whilst I feed her, and builds things out of shoeboxes.  She puts her favourite toys into shoeboxes and carries them around.  She is as obsessed by shoes as I am.

We are moving in a few months, and I have a big walk in robe in my new bedroom, complete with a high shelf perfect for storing my shoes.  My collection includes Louboutins, Manolos and Armani to name a few, and there is no way I am gonna let my daughter get her hands on those!! 

Hubby has blamed me totally for this newfound obsession and I take responsibility (rather proudly I must say .. hehe)!!

I want to write something here, but my mind is blank.  I feel an empty void ... LOL.  So instead I will just put in a picture of one of the main reasons why my mind is an empty void right now ...

This mask is only a toy and does not offer protection

Found on a Superman mask that I gave Sprat yesterday.

Seriously.

Who on earth would think that they could put on a plastic mask and be Superman??

Everyone knows you need the cape and undies too.

A personal attack

Well, yesterday was an interesting day on the bonjovi.com comments page for the Perth concert.  So many people were bagging the crowd for not standing up and jumping around.  It was funny, because I commented at one stage that surely I would have thought people would be too busy watching the band to worry about what other people were doing, as I was, and before I knew it, someone had posted a comment about my hubby and the fact that he WASN'T jumping around!  I was absolutely gobsmacked that someone who I didn't know from a bar of soap could launch an attack on my hubby about the way he reacts to different situations.  What a load of shit.  I was so pissed off.  But then again, it's not something I could actually do, and I don't know how other people can.  I guess you just have to have a bitchy nature or be an absolute asshole to do it.

But you know what, as I told Hubby, 'hey I had a personal photographer, and I have the best pics ever, and I didn't have to watch the concert through a lense .. so who are the dickheads??'

But karma came and got this person, because as Perthites do, there was a rally of support telling this particular poster to buggar off back to Melbourne from whence they came and shut their mouth!!  Ah ... and I didn't have to say a thing  :D

More Lost Highway

As you may be aware from reading previous posts of mine, I had a few extra tickets last night (hehe).  Well I gave one of my besties 2 of them and she came along and had a damn fine time too.  I was talking to her earlier and she was telling me that I made it up on the big screens a couple of times (I saw myself once, but I was too busy perving at Jon to be honest).  In one shot apparently the camera came in over the top of us and zoomed in on my breasts.  I am very proud of that!! LOL

Mission accomplished.  :D

Lost Highway - Bon Jovi

I'm am suffering from the best Bon Jovi hangover!  What a fantastic show last night!

The day was so very hot, 37+C and I wondered how I was going to go being that hot and excited and wanting to jump around liked a lust filled crazy teen!  The guys at our shop were having bets that I would go into labour (hospital was only a 15 minute walk away or so though LOL).

We got to Subiaco Oval in plenty of time and skulled heaps of water to try to keep hydrated (as it was still about 33C at 7.30pm).  We made our way to our seats ... THE FRONT ROW.

I kept having to pinch myself.  This really was a dream come true for me.  I have never been front row at any concert before, let alone the one band I have remained faithful and loyal to for 17 years!

The support act (local band The Violet Flames) were really good, but it was clear that everyone wanted Bon Jovi to come out.  I have to say though, that the flames drummer was really having a damn fantastic time!!  Great to watch him!

Then it was time.  I still couldn't believe I had made it to the front row.  The security guards were keeping an eye on me as none of them wanted a labour either!  One of them we struck up a little relationship with and he got me water during the show (awwww, so nice!! he was a local Perth boy).

Hugh, Tico, Dave and Richie came out onstage and then right in front of me was my idol, Jon Bon Jovi.  Maybe 4 metres from me!  I was a lust filled idiot at that second and why not!  Damn has that man still got it!!  One of the best toned bodies I have seen!!  We then screamed and yelled our hearts out for the next 2 and a bit hours!  I tried to jump around but couldn't really!  33 weeks pregnant is not the best thing to be at a Bon Jovi concert!  Mr Security would look at me and motion for me to calm down and breathe!  It was fantastic.  Indescribable! Awesome!  And so freakin' HOT!!  They played the songs that I really wanted them to play, plus of course the ones you would expect.  He played Runaway (which was just AWESOME), Blood on Blood, Born to be my Baby, Blaze of Glory .. then Summertime, Whole lot of Leavin' and I love this Town off the new album!  Of course he played Prayer, and In these Arms was another highlight!  What am I saying, the whole show was a damn highlight!!  I couldn't stop smiling!!  Meanwhile Smirnoff was being good and staying relatively calm in my belly even with my jumping around!

Richie sang I'll be there for you, which was fabulous (I am running out of adjectives!!).

All too soon though it was over ... the boys left the stage, the harsh light of normality was lit, and we stood around dazed ... Mr Security was over the other side of the stage but I saw him walking towards me .. Mr Fantastic Security had got Richie's playlist off the stage, complete with one of his guitar pics and proceeded to pass it to me over the fence!!!!!!!!  I was stoked.  Stoked beyond belief!  What a way to end the best concert of my life!  

We got home, so late, so tired, still pregnant and not a new mum, and I uploaded all the photos that my hubby had been ordered to take!!  And boy do I have some damn fine shots!!  Now to wait until they come back ... let's hope it's not another 11 years (or else I'm gonna rack up some miles flying around the world!!) ... 

Bon Jovi (update 2)

Tomorrow is the concert (HOOOO!!!)!!

And I am front row!!!

I am so excited!

A friend told me that one of our friends was hanging shit on me for loving Bon Jovi .. all I have to say to that is .. hello?  This from a guy (supposedly a man) who drives a hatchback???

Muahahaha :D

Death

Obviously we all know about the death of Heath Ledger.  Being from Perth (his hometown) there is a lot of attention being focused on this particular news item.

A lot of what I read yesterday included people reacting somewhat angrily to the outpouring of grief towards his death, when there are millions of unknowns dying every day from poverty related causes.

I have thought about this and decided to give my opinion.

In the first instance, let's discuss Heath's death.  Firstly, our society places a huge emphasis on fame.  And for the most part, we all want to be famous.  Look at the internet where there were so many people complaining about the information regarding his death, are all these people just twittering and blogging for fun or because they want someone to read it?  Because they want the recognition?  The fame?  I know that I blog for myself, but also because I would like to think that someone else reads it and discusses it.  This emphasis on fame is a worldwide phonomenon too.  I have recently watched the Long Way Down and Long Way Round series about Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman's travels on motorcycles around the world.  Even in the middle of Mongolia, where people live nomadically in tents made of cloth and eat testicle stew so as not to waste any part of an animal, Ewan was recognised for his part in movie making.  So it is very true to say that fame is a VERY worldwide thing.  So, in turn, this means it is newsworthy.  So why do people grieve so deeply for someone they may never have met?  

I will tell you what happens to me.  I react to various things that all producers and/or directors will say is exactly what they are trying to achieve.  If you play a montage of a person's life, complete with a sad song (one montage yesterday had a song playing that included the line "and the sun will set for you" .. fairly sad stuff) and images of said persons life, most people would be hard pressed not to get at least partially emotional over it.  I do.  It's marketing.  It works (on me it works very well).

A lot of people that call in to radio stations so upset are young, and reacting to a grief they may never have had to deal with before.  Playing sad songs and talking like we know these people as well as our closest friends only adds to the feelings of grief.

On the other hand, there are people in our everyday world who are suffering also.  Who are lucky if they reach 28 because their regional mortality rate is 30.  Whose children are dying because they cannot eat.  Whose homes have been wiped out by a natural disaster.  Whose civil wars rage out of control.  To me, these people are not forgotten either.  I do all I can as a person to try to help these people too.  I sponsor a child in Mozambique, and have watched him grow over the last 5 years.  Watched him start school,  Watched his family learn to manage crops and grow food so that they can sustain themselves once World Vision leaves their region.  When Bali was bombed, I sent my donation to Bali, not to the Australians affected.  I knew that in Australia we would raise money beyond any one's imaginings, and our government would aid the victims, both of which happened, but I also knew that Bali would need all the help it could get to rebuild, so my money went there.  After the Tsunami, I did the same thing, and sent my donations to the poorest areas, those that would need it the most.  

Bottom line though, was that my grief for these people affected by such extreme tragedies is much greater, but natural unexpected disaster aside, it is not shocking.  People are dying from poverty related causes every second, so we are almost, sadly, conditioned to it.  It doesn't shock us anymore.  Yet when it does shock (tsunami, acts of terrorism) we rally and help.

So yes, yesterday there was a lot of grief and emotion surrounding Heath's death.  Here in Perth, being such a small town, nearly everyone would have a Heath story (even I do) so the outpouring was probably even greater.  This doesn't mean it was more or less important, it just means it was news on that day.  And we as human beings reacted to it.

Evolution

I do not believe in christianity.  At all.  I have done far too much reading in the past on medieval europe to believe any of it.  I studied the history of witchcraft at university.  It was my favourite and best subject.  I earned many A+'s in that subject!  But that is not the topic of this blog.  The topic is evolution.

I wholeheartedly believe we are descendants of apes.  It just seems so obvious.  We have to be.  Have you ever looked into the eyes of a gorilla?  If you haven't, go to a zoo, or climb a mountain in the jungle of Africa and find a gorilla and look into it's eyes.  Then you will know what I am talking about.

However, there is just one thing, one little tiny detail that makes you think about all this religion vs evolution debate.  I am pregnant.  32 weeks roughly.  I have this little baby inside me that weighs roughly 4 pounds at the moment.  It kicks me with the force of a horse regularly!  Whilst watching TV last night, Smirnoff was having his/her daily workout and I lifted my top to watch my belly.  Hubby and I couldn't stop laughing as we saw limbs and hips moving under my skin.  It was at this point that hubby remarked, "hard to not believe in miracles isn't it?"  

So that is my question ... I understand evolution (and I know that this IS evolution and scientific) but how can we NOT have miracles?  Any one that has been pregnant will appreciate the true miracle that it is to grow another little human inside you.  It's awesome.  Such a beautiful thing.  The best thing that can happen to you as a woman (aside from maybe what happens in order to get to that position *wink* LOL).

Music and memories

Well, only 6 days to go until Bon Jovi are in Perth.  The last time I saw them was in 1995.  It was the These Days concert at Olympic Park, Melbourne.  I remember being up in the stands and actually smoking my way through the concert!  Can't imagine doing that now for 2 reasons .. one, I don't smoke anymore and two, no doubt it will be a smokefree event now!!

I can relate so many different aspects of my life to Bon Jovi.  There is a song for every major memory I have from when I was only 14 and started listening to them.  I remember my boyfriend way back then, he introduced me to Jovi.  He used to wear this New Jersey t-shirt with a picture of Jon on the front.  I used to love it when he wore it, which he knew, so he would wear it all the time for me (he got a lot more physical contact on those particular days LOL).  The whole of the New Jersey album in fact reminds me of him.  He was my first love (awwww ... lol).

The Keep the Faith tour was my first concert.  It was 1992, I was 16, and me and 2 girlfriends went down to Melbourne by ourselves.  It was a huge night for us as we all were completely obsessed with him!  We had the best time, and I remember writing down the entire songlist the minute I got home so I could remember the concert forever!  I still remember it .. it was awesome.  I remember being able to see all Jon's tattoos in detail, that's how close we were!

This time though, I will be even closer!  Front Row!!  I have waited 17 years for this and I am as excited as I was when I was 16!

A lot of people will scoff at this, whether they are scoffing because they don't like Bon Jovi, or they just don't understand the association part of it, but music has been such a HUGE part of my life for such a long time, and if you name a Bon Jovi song, I will have a memory attached to it.  The latest album, Lost Highway, already has been associated with a few moments in my life of late ...

I am also happy to be able to say that little Smirnoff will be able to say that her/his first concert was Bon Jovi ... at almost 33 weeks gestation!  Rock On!!! 

Parties

Okay, so the world is obsessed with Corey.  But I have to say, I have a feeling that I have been to much better parties than Corey could ever imagine.  I thought I would share a couple with you.

It's not about the size of the party either.  It's the quality of the shananigans that makes a great party.

I will start with my 17th birthday party.  Not sure if my parents know about all the things that went on, but they don't know I have this blog, so might be best to leave it that way!  I basically invited every 17 year old I knew.  My brother invited all his mates (they were 20 year olds).  At a stab, maybe we had 40 people.  I lived in the country, so this was a good turnout for a party.  And I lived 16ks out of town, so this was a HUGE turnout.

Before long, we were all hammered and rolling around.  My parents have a 4 acre property so there were plenty of spots to get into trouble.  We also had a caravan in the backyard which was often used for rendezvous with boys ;)

My then boyfriend and I had been on and off for a while.  He wasn't exactly invited, but he walked 6 ks from his house to mine, so I didn't turn him away.  We wound up in the caravan and just as it was about to get a little too steamy, my brother and his mates busted in (one of my girlfriends had spilt the beans) and, being overly protective grabbed my boyfriend off me and ruined the passion.  Nice one bro.

Okay, so far this all sounds a little tame right, but let me tell you about what happened in the light of day.  It appears that roughly 7 couples wound up having sex on various plots of ground around my parents house.  To this day when I drive up that driveway, I find it difficult not to remember that that occured!  My party was talked about for the next year as the shag fest party of the year!  Not sure if that's the title I was going for at the time, but I got it, so may as well be happy with it!!

The next party involved much more alcohol, same large space of land, petrol, and matches.  Not a good mix.

I was living in Perth but felt I needed to go home for a visit (parents live in country Victoria).  It was my brother's birthday, so I decided that was a good time to go.  Hubby couldn't make it, so I went alone.

My brother has a bonfire every year for his birthday.  He and his friends are all muso's so it would be a piss up around a fire, playing guitar, having a sing.  Tame good fun.  Bro's best mate was a mechanic, so he would always bring the fuel to start the bonnie in a spectacular fashion.  Each year they tried to outdo the last.  The year I went, has never been topped.

When it came time to light the fire we were all hammered.  And I should add, smoking cigarettes.  My bro and his mate were off to one side huddled, laughing like 10 year olds (should I add I think it was my brother's 28th or so!!).  I was oblivious to it all, drinking and having a smoke.  A tennis ball was brought out.  As was a large piece of bark, stripped from a nearby gum tree.  Then the can of fuel.  The tennis ball was drenched in petrol, placed on the piece of bark, then lit.  What happened next happened in literally seconds ....

Everyone had put out their smokes and moved away from the pile of wood that was to be the bonnie.  Except me.  One of my bro's mates was on his phone chatting to his absent girlfriend.  He noticed I hadn't moved, and was still smoking, but stayed on the phone (nice one, I have never let him forget that).  The fuel had been drizzled (or gushed) over the bonnie as well.  A vapour haze had developed.  The ball was lit.  It went straight up in flames of course.  Then the vapours lit.  The bark that was to be the launch pad for the ball (it was to be thrown flaming into the bonnie) was on fire.  It all went to shit!  The boys threw the bark, the surrounding vapours exploded and I kid you not the ground shook!  I looked in horror at the spreading flames advancing towards me!  They shot up my legs as I jumped into the air higher than anyone present thought was physically possible (holding my lit smoke and a glass of wine)!  Then as quickly as they came the flames retracted back to the wood and settled into a massive bonfire!  A cheer sounded!!!  HOOOOOO!!!  

I sat on the bench closest me and closed my eyes whilst taking a huge drag of my smoke.  I was alive and not on fire.  In fact, no one was even slightly hurt at all.  Everyone had seen the flames engulf me and were all surprised I was unharmed.  So was I!

Later that evening, the stupidity continued with guys walking through fire to see who was the most manly.  One friend tripped and rolled through the fire, his lit cigarette still in his mouth as he rolled and rolled and rolled. 

We may not have had police turn up at out place, or 500 people in the street, but these parties have stood the test of time and are still being talked about.  They have become legend.   And stories of survival!

Bon Jovi (update)

OK, I know I am going to cop some flak for this, but as I am always window shopping, I happened upon a new ebay listing for FRONT ROW Jovi tix.  No bidding this time ... they had a buy it now price.  So I bought them ... just now.

I now have 6 tickets to the concert!!

PS With all these tickets, the grand sum is STILL less than the $2700 that the first auction I bid on went for.  So I am happy. :)

Plus can sell 2 of them at least now :)

PLUS IT MEANS I GET TO BE FRONT ROW AT BON JOVI!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer number 2

For my american readers ... to perve means to check somebody out.  To appreciate the fine physique of another ... for example, when I drive along the coast and see a fine male body, I take a look.  Let's hope that clears things up a little!! :D

Perving

In my opinion, perving has been left to the males of our species for far too long.  Fairly recent discussions with some of my female friends have left me gasping.  They don't perve.  Hardly any of them.  They have a great partner so why do they need to?  At least, that's their argument.  

My argument is plain and simple.  I am human, have 2 legs and a heartbeat.  This means I am alive.  Fortunately I also have perfect vision.  This means I can see.  Add those 2 things together and it means I have the means to perve.

I live on the coast, which presents some fantabulous perving opportunities.  Athletic surfies unashamed of changing out of their wetties on the side of the road.  I am truly surprised there are not more accidents along Marine Parade, Cottesloe.  Add to the male species changing and there are bikini clad women everywhere too!  It's an oglers paradise!  

I will say also that I have no problems with hubby perving either.  Why not?  He too has 2 legs, a heartbeat and functioning eyes, so good luck to him!  Perve away.  Equal opp in this household.

We are making the move to the country at some stage this year.  A tree change, if you will.  I am slightly concerned that there will be no surfies to watch.  The only hope I have is the possibility of some nice toned footballers bodies to perve at.  Or at least monthly sojourns to the beach.

I feel my job is to get the chicks perving.  Let's turn the tables!  Guys have perved on us forever, yet there are still some of us girls out there that are yet to discover the pure bliss of a  good perve.  I believe that people love it.  Whether they are pervers or pervees ... it's all good.  It's a fantastic compliment to have someone perve at you so why not return the favour!!

PS Perve at chicks too.  Why not!! ;)

Disclaimer

In case any one misread my lingerie post, let me make this clear ....

I DO NOT OWN A SINGLE PAIR OF MATERNITY KNICKERS!

It's much more comfortable to just go commando ;)

Bon Jovi

Well, I lost the auction.  

Kinda glad though.  The 2 tickets went for $2700!!!  O.M.G.

I then found a listing for 2 tickets in the 8th row with a buy it now price ... so I did.  :D

Saved myself a good 2 grand as well.

2 grand .. that's a lot of money .....

Lingerie

Ok ok .. I admit to having a weakness for shopping.  In fact, it's in my blood.  Lately I have gotten much better at it as well (by lately I mean the last 12 months or so).

Beautiful day today.  Perfect.  Sun shining, not too hot .. perfect.

A girlfriend called me this morning and told me that her little boy had the German Measles.  Poor little thing.  O f course, that poses a little problem for me seeing as though I am pregnant!!  Since I saw him just a couple of days ago, I called my OB GYN and asked his opinion.  He wanted a rushed blood test to check my immunity. 

Now the last time I had to go to the hospital for a blood test I was there for over 2 hours, with absolutely nothing to read and had left my ipod at home (d'oh!).  So this time, I wanted to be prepared.  I rang my babysitter, she was available and could be here by 1pm.  Perfect.

Armed with 2 magazines, I went to the hospital.  I kid you not, by 1.20pm I was out.  Done.  Finito.  Blood drawn.  Now I could hardly go home after just 20 minutes, so I decided to do what I do best ... shop.

Into Subiaco I went.  Subi is such a gorgeous place to wander around if it's a nice day.  And as it is near perfect outside, that's where I headed.

Now, I didn't NEED anything (what's the point of buying stuff you need?) so I decided to look at things that I might like ... lingerie.

Being 30 weeks pregnant makes lingerie buying a little hard, but I still managed to achieve fantastic results.  A sexy new black bra lined with red ... hawt.  Some gorgeous silky Willow  panties and Calvin Klein bikini knicks ... plus the most beautiful purple CK's I have seen.  Fairly successful, I thought.  

I defy the image in one of my pregnancy books.  It's of a heavily pregnant woman wearing the BIGGEST pair of undies I have ever seen.  They go over her bump up to her bra line.  Yeah.  Exactly.  Comfortable?  Maybe.  Also quite possibly the best method of contraception I have ever seen.   I may be pregnant, but I'm not dead.

So, I don't view today as just another shopping trip.  It was more a confidence boosting exercise.  And my confidence is definately boosted, LOL!!  One exercise any psych would be proud of!!

Bon Jovi

Okay, I have a confession to make.  My husband has not been the soul love of my life.  Way before I met my husband, I had another love.  It's a love that has stood the test of time.  It has been going strong for more that 17 years now.  It is my love for Jon Bon Jovi (and of course encompasses his band, Bon Jovi).

In 12 days time, I will be at their Perth concert.  Months ago I bought tickets on a presale and had to wait until just this week to receive my tickets and learn my seat allocation.  I was quietly confident.  I was ticket buyer number 45 so was pretty sure that would mean front 2 rows ... I went to the post office to collect my special delivery.  Hands shaking I opened the envelope.  I looked down at the numbers .... SECTION B5!!!!!  WTF?!?!?!  I was beyond devastated.  I was gutted.  I admit, I cried.  Ever supportive hubby reassured me ... "nevermind, there is always ebay" (he is aware of his place ... Bon Jovi first, then him.  Smart man).  We logged on to ebay.  And there it was .. right in front of us (well to be more accurate, right at the bottom of page 2) .. FRONT ROW tickets to Bon Jovi.

So I placed a bid.  Now I am watching it go higher and higher.  I don't care.  What price to be front row (particularly 33 weeks pregnant and front row!!)?  The auction ends in a bit over a day.  I will let you know ....

Smirnoff

So I have to tell you a little story about Baby Number 3.  

I am what you would call a pretty laid back kind of mum.  And, with each pregnancy I have become even more relaxed.  There are so many 'rules' you are meant to follow when you are pregnant.  Don't take drugs.  Don't smoke.  Don't drink alcohol.  Don't eat soft cheese or soft serve ice cream.  Don't eat ham.  Don't breathe in case you die ... 

So, anyway, I neither smoke nor take drugs.  But, I do have the odd drink of something alcoholic (I mean, come on, I already have 2 kids!!  Sometimes stronger fluids than water are required!).  

My first 2 pregnancies were entirely planned.  To the point of shagging endlessly for the 6 or 7 days on either side of ovulation (too much information?? LOL).  Both of them commenced with NEGATIVE pregnancy tests.  Followed by absolutely huge piss ups!!  And I mean really getting hammered.  A few days after each piss up, the positive tests were done, much to my horror.

Baby number 3 was a little bit of a surprise.  We initially thought, yeah .. let's have another baby.  We tried unsuccessfully for a couple of months before realising that we were most likely insane, and should reconsider.  That was cool, I wasn't pregnant.  We holidayed in Broome for 2 weeks, where I consumed a huge amount of Smirnoff vodka and beer.  Literally drinking every day.  I had not long finished breast feeding and was really well and truly letting my hair down.

Upon our return from Broome, after a couple of weeks, I decided to do a pregnancy test.  I didn't think I was pregnant at all, as I never have any symptoms of any kind.  Low and behold, OMG, I was pregnant.  No worries, I thought.  Holiday baby :)

I went to see my wonderful obstetrician.  I love that man.  He is something of a God, I am sure of it.  He whips out the sonograph machine, puts it on my then much smaller belly, and says, "WHOA!  Big baby!!"  Then he paused ... then, "hang on ... not big, just big for the dates you have given me!!"

It appears Baby Number 3 was not a holiday baby after all.  Baby number 3 was in fact conceived BEFORE our winter break.  I thought of all the vodka I drank.  I told my ob gyn.  He laughed.  Then he reassured me.  Then I named our number 3 Smirnoff (only in womb mind you).

And so it begins ...

And so I have decided to start a new chapter in my life.  Funnily enough, in roughly 8 weeks time I will give birth to my 3rd child, so you could argue that that will be a new chapter.  But it will be my 3rd child.  Pfft .. which means I can do this with my eyes closed (this is where you go .. 'sure sure, we'll read about your hardships in a couple of months')!  

I used to write a lot when I was younger and I was quite good.  I had quite a lot of things to vent about as I was an angst ridden teenage girl, then uni student and had a few adventurous moments in my life.   I was lucky enough to travel a bit too and of course have a family that provides endless moments to write about (but, don't we all??).  

Then at almost 27 I became pregnant with Sprat.  I remember feeling the brain cells exiting my body with each gram of weight he put on in my belly.  Then I breast fed.   Then I got pregnant again with the baby girl.  Then I breast fed again.  Now I am pregnant again!!  As you can see, I may have lost too great an amount of brain cells to recoup, but I am willing to do everything I can to regain them!

There comes a point in your life, as a stay at home mum, that you think .. hang on.  I used to be more than a nappy changer.  I used to do some relatively intelligent things.  Is this ALL my life is now?

Don't get me wrong, I am not your typical 'career' girl.  I wanted my kids, each one of them, very much.  I wanted to be a mum and I chose this path.  But I need more.  I have a yearning to learn and expand.  So that is what I am setting out to do.

I have recently become a little infatuated with technology.  For a relative technophobe this is a big thing.  I was discussing expanding myself with a friend and he agreed that by writing a blog I could easily achieve this.  Simple to set up and with working hours to suit me, it would be the perfect transition into my expansion.

So here I am ... ready to go.  I am hoping as I become more proficient to make a better website and write better blogs.  To vent in a humourous way that will be enjoyable to read!  And I hope to share it all with you!