Fire

It's been a horrendous, anxious, stressful, emotional and exhausting 24 hours. Fires have ripped across the beautiful state that I live in. At the time of writing this post, the fire has killed 65 people. This number is expected to rise.

The last couple of weeks have seen unprecedented high temperatures across the south east of Australia. This coupled with years of drought had left the ground dry as a bone, primed and waiting for tragedy. Yesterday the weather conditions brought the highest temperatures across Australia on record and extremely high winds.

When I left work at 1PM yesterday, it was 45 degrees celcius with strong winds blowing the dust into the sky. We started watching the CFA (Country Fire Authority) website for updates on the fires burning shortly after I got home. The sky was grey. It looked like it was overcast. The wind was so hot that it actually burnt my bare legs. Conditions were horrific.

When we moved here, we knew that we would have to be prepared for the possibility of fire. Although we live just on the outskirts of town, we are surrounded by bush on all sides. I love it here. It is peaceful and beautiful. This beautiful tree filled lifestyle, however, also brings with it risks. We knew of these risks, so prepared ourselves by buying a pump and hoses. We have two 33,000L tanks, a dam, and a pool for water. But still, we're vulnerable.

In the early eighties, we lost our home to fire. I was about 5 and although I don't remember everything there are parts of it that are etched in my memory forever.

We lived not far from where I live now. It was my parent's dream house. A beautiful period weatherboard home on 20 acres of land. We had only been living there a few months. We had gone down to Melbourne to visit my Granny. I remember we had not been there long when the phone rang. Then my Uncle, my mum and my dad rushed out. Granny called my brother and I to her and cuddled us. She told us our house had burnt down. I remember asking her where we were going to live.

Some time later mum and dad came back. I stood in the driveway watching the car pull in. I will never, ever in my whole life forget the look on my mum's face. She was a ghost sitting in the car, clutching one single precious possession, blackened by the fire. Tears stained her face. She was still.

I remember the first time I went back to the house. There was barely anything left but three chimneys. I went to what was my bedroom. Everything was gone. Everything was ash. I found one of my favourite soft toys, a dog called Ralph. He was vaguley recognisable. I remeber standing there crying, my older brother (who was only 8) holding me tight.

We lost everything. Everything.

Next came Ash Wednesday. We lived in Kyneton then, so so close to Woodend. Mum had us packed ready to go. She had been there before.

The Maryborough fires a few years later were also scary as we had moved to Newstead then, also close by. I packed a little basket with my favourite doll in it.

Now I have my own family and last night all I could think about was sifting through the ashes.

The main thing is that we were all safe way back when. We lost everything we had, but still had our lives. In the last 24 hours 65 people have been killed.

I can't comprehend it. Cars full of people, including children, trying to escape, caught in the firestorm. Killed.

It took all day, but I finally cried about an hour ago. Then I thought I had to write about it.

Friends of ours were in the Bendigo fire. We spoke to them earlier and they are all, thankfully okay. However, they were saying they had no fire plan. They lived in the suburbs of Bendigo, they never thought for a moment that fire would be something to worry about. Boy were they wrong. It doesn't matter where you are ... fire can get you.

It is believed that some of these fires were deliberately lit. I told my hubby earlier what I would do if I ever caught an arsonist. He saw a violent side of me, truth be told.

I had so many things I wanted to write here, but I feel like I am just rambling. I'm exhausted. I'm emotional. I am terribly, terribly sad. My heart is aching.

Again, it's been said before by other people, but WOW. Twitter last night was a wonderful wonderful resource. And the messages I received from fellow twitterers were just so great and so appreciated. I was so scared last night even though we were not in any direct threat. I lay awake for ages listening to the silence, praying that the wind didn't pick up.

I pray that I never have to pack up my family and flee. I pray for those that have lost everything. I know you are hurting, believe me, I do. I know what fire did to my mum ... I feel so much for everyone involved.

I have a houseload of furniture and household items including buckets of toys that were due for a Garage Sale. This will be donated. I urge you to do what you can, if you can, for those that have lost everything. As a kid who lost every precious thing I owned, every little hand me down I got afterwards was the best thing in the world.

I'm not sure I know what else to say. I know there was more in my head, but I'm a little numb.

Hell. It's been a weekend of hell.