Wasn't life sooooo much easier when you were young? I mean, you lived at home, no rent or mortgage repayments, no bills, your mum did your washing, cooked your dinner and drove you around. All I had to do was feed the kitties and keep my room clean. I had a weekend job and any money I made was mine, all mine!! I paid no tax (cos I earned no money basically lol) and had zero responsibility.
Sure, I had relationship problems. I had an on/off boyfriend how was basically a total jerk, but I 'loved' him sooooooo much that I kept forgiving him for all his shit. The little jerk was such a wanker but hell he was cute, so .... ;P
He broke my heart, but a week later I had a new love. He too broke my heart, then I broke a few hearts, then ... oh I think about then I turned 18 and started to think and try to act like an adult!!
At the time I thought my life was so full of complications and problems and hassles! If only I knew what was to come ....
Retrospect is a wonderful thing, but geez it pisses me off. All those things I could have avoided if only I'd known. But on the other hand, hell I've had some fun making mistakes!
These days I'm responsible for 3 little kids. I'm responsible for feeding them, clothing them and keeping them happy and safe. It's the single most biggest stress of my life. Because I want them to never want for anything. I want them to always be in good health. I want them always to smile. I never want them to experience hurt. Of course, I know these things are inevitable.
Now I am the major breadwinner for our family my stress levels have gone through the roof. I think I now know what my husband has been going through for the last how ever many years. I constantly worry that I'm going to fail ... yet at the same time I have such ambition to make sure that I don't. My moods yoyo from extreme optimism to self doubt. I feel like a totally hormonal bitch at times, which is so strange for me as I am not your 'typical' chick. I've never had hormonal swings before.
So, yeah ... take me back to being 17 again ... hell it was easy back then!!!
Although, you know, with all that I have had and all that I have experienced ... all my heart breaks and all my loves ... all the people who have been a part of my life and helped to shape who I am ... all the conversations I have shared with those who mean the most to me .... most of these have occurred in the years since I became an adult. So, on second thoughts, maybe I am happy where I am, with the knowledge that there is more really good stuff (and really shitty stuff) to come.
1 comment:
I so relate. And I wonder what I did with so much spare time. Time to put on make-up, obsess about my looks, talk rubbish with friends, go out drinking, and just lie in the sun on a hot summer's day. I keep telling my kids how lucky they are, and they look at me like I've got two heads!
Post a Comment