Spidey's Lunchbox

Breathe girl, breathe.

2009-03-22T21:22:00.000-07:00

I've kind of lost the passion to blog of late. So much has been going on with work that I just don't have the time to sit down and write. Also, I've had nothing of consequence to say.

I'm not doing this for anyone else ... I mean I write this for me. I'm not good at checking how many visitors I've had and I have no idea really how many people are interested in what I write, so numbers don't matter to me.

Having said that then, I could ramble away and assume my only audience is me, right? So what do I care what I write? But still I do care, just in case :)

I've been sick now for over 2 weeks. I'm tired of coughing and I have a pain in my sternum. The last time I was sick for this long was when I went to the US. I got sick 2 weeks before I left and was still sick when I got home almost 2 weeks later. I think I'm rundown and I need a break. Not just physically though, but mentally too.

Building this business, including the online component, has been so stressful. Every day I think about what to stock, how to do it, am I ordering too little, am I ordering too much, am I going to be able to pull this off and make money or stay in the black even! My brain is constantly thinking, over thinking, worrying. I am scared. I am excited. It feels like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, about to jump. Will I survive?

To be honest I'm not even sure why I'm crazy enough to do this whole online thing. I mean what the heck do I know about computers?? I can turn one on ... I can type, I can email ... I can whack a picture on a blog post ... what am I doing??

By Friday I have to put in an order for some summer stock. It is a brand new line, one that I am so excited about. I will be one of the first people to stock it. It will be available on my website ... but I don't get it til August. So I am nervous. This is the part of fashion retail that I hate. This ordering months in advance.

I think I'm getting an ulcer.

A Moment of Selfishness

2009-02-22T15:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm going to be honest here.

I'm a pretty nice person. I'm open, I'm giving, I care. I do things for others without thinking all the time. I love to do random things to make other people smile. I love giving presents to people for no reason, other than 'just because'. I will do favours for friends when they ask ... help them ... listen to them. I think I'm a pretty good friend.

But here is the selfish part. Every now and then I wish I wasn't so giving. I wish I could say no. I wish I were a little more ruthless and outspoken. I wish I stood up for myself more. And I wish I could ask a friend ... "hey, I need to talk to someone, care to listen".

Fire

2009-02-07T22:50:00.000-08:00

It's been a horrendous, anxious, stressful, emotional and exhausting 24 hours. Fires have ripped across the beautiful state that I live in. At the time of writing this post, the fire has killed 65 people. This number is expected to rise.

The last couple of weeks have seen unprecedented high temperatures across the south east of Australia. This coupled with years of drought had left the ground dry as a bone, primed and waiting for tragedy. Yesterday the weather conditions brought the highest temperatures across Australia on record and extremely high winds.

When I left work at 1PM yesterday, it was 45 degrees celcius with strong winds blowing the dust into the sky. We started watching the CFA (Country Fire Authority) website for updates on the fires burning shortly after I got home. The sky was grey. It looked like it was overcast. The wind was so hot that it actually burnt my bare legs. Conditions were horrific.

When we moved here, we knew that we would have to be prepared for the possibility of fire. Although we live just on the outskirts of town, we are surrounded by bush on all sides. I love it here. It is peaceful and beautiful. This beautiful tree filled lifestyle, however, also brings with it risks. We knew of these risks, so prepared ourselves by buying a pump and hoses. We have two 33,000L tanks, a dam, and a pool for water. But still, we're vulnerable.

In the early eighties, we lost our home to fire. I was about 5 and although I don't remember everything there are parts of it that are etched in my memory forever.

We lived not far from where I live now. It was my parent's dream house. A beautiful period weatherboard home on 20 acres of land. We had only been living there a few months. We had gone down to Melbourne to visit my Granny. I remember we had not been there long when the phone rang. Then my Uncle, my mum and my dad rushed out. Granny called my brother and I to her and cuddled us. She told us our house had burnt down. I remember asking her where we were going to live.

Some time later mum and dad came back. I stood in the driveway watching the car pull in. I will never, ever in my whole life forget the look on my mum's face. She was a ghost sitting in the car, clutching one single precious possession, blackened by the fire. Tears stained her face. She was still.

I remember the first time I went back to the house. There was barely anything left but three chimneys. I went to what was my bedroom. Everything was gone. Everything was ash. I found one of my favourite soft toys, a dog called Ralph. He was vaguley recognisable. I remeber standing there crying, my older brother (who was only 8) holding me tight.

We lost everything. Everything.

Next came Ash Wednesday. We lived in Kyneton then, so so close to Woodend. Mum had us packed ready to go. She had been there before.

The Maryborough fires a few years later were also scary as we had moved to Newstead then, also close by. I packed a little basket with my favourite doll in it.

Now I have my own family and last night all I could think about was sifting through the ashes.

The main thing is that we were all safe way back when. We lost everything we had, but still had our lives. In the last 24 hours 65 people have been killed.

I can't comprehend it. Cars full of people, including children, trying to escape, caught in the firestorm. Killed.

It took all day, but I finally cried about an hour ago. Then I thought I had to write about it.

Friends of ours were in the Bendigo fire. We spoke to them earlier and they are all, thankfully okay. However, they were saying they had no fire plan. They lived in the suburbs of Bendigo, they never thought for a moment that fire would be something to worry about. Boy were they wrong. It doesn't matter where you are ... fire can get you.

It is believed that some of these fires were deliberately lit. I told my hubby earlier what I would do if I ever caught an arsonist. He saw a violent side of me, truth be told.

I had so many things I wanted to write here, but I feel like I am just rambling. I'm exhausted. I'm emotional. I am terribly, terribly sad. My heart is aching.

Again, it's been said before by other people, but WOW. Twitter last night was a wonderful wonderful resource. And the messages I received from fellow twitterers were just so great and so appreciated. I was so scared last night even though we were not in any direct threat. I lay awake for ages listening to the silence, praying that the wind didn't pick up.

I pray that I never have to pack up my family and flee. I pray for those that have lost everything. I know you are hurting, believe me, I do. I know what fire did to my mum ... I feel so much for everyone involved.

I have a houseload of furniture and household items including buckets of toys that were due for a Garage Sale. This will be donated. I urge you to do what you can, if you can, for those that have lost everything. As a kid who lost every precious thing I owned, every little hand me down I got afterwards was the best thing in the world.

I'm not sure I know what else to say. I know there was more in my head, but I'm a little numb.

Hell. It's been a weekend of hell.

A little more confidence, please?

2009-02-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

I sometimes wish for more confidence. Today is one of those days. It's funny, because from one perspective this looks contradictory ... I post pictures of myself to flickr every day (particularly since I started this 365 days project I'm doing). That's easy stuff. Take a pic, post it. Done. No, the confidence I want is for words.

I wanted to ask someone their opinion the other day. Something very relevant to them and not very relevant to me, so their opinion would have been very useful. But I didn't get it. Not enough confidence to ask. Too scared to email them for help. And they were too busy to help me at the time I wanted the help.

So I thought I might throw the question out into FriendFeed or Twitter (it's a tech related problem so I thought that would be a good spot) but I couldn't. I type, I delete. Zero confidence.

The thing is, I know very little about technology and don't want to seem stupid. So, instead of asking things and possibly learning more, I clam up.

So, yeah, there you go, I'd like a little more confidence, please.

32 years ago today ....

2008-12-28T20:33:00.001-08:00

... I entered this world, no doubt screaming my lungs out and causing my mother a great deal of pain.

Not much has changed.

Except now I probably don't cause my mother the same amount of pain and I don't scream too much although I do talk a lot (those who know me will agree wholeheartedly). The only pain I cause my mother now is when I get a new tattoo and she sighs :D

My birthday always makes me reflect on the things I have done, not just because I'm older but because my birthday falls at the end of the year, so I always think about what I have done and accomplished in the year gone by.

This past year has undoubtedly been the single most eventful year of my 32 years to date. I have: bought a house, had a baby, sold 2 businesses, moved interstate, travelled overseas for the first time AND did it on my own, bought a new business, went back to work full time after 4 1/2 years as a stay at home mum, renovated said house, moved into that house, had a massive family Christmas and I'm still alive. I think the only thing I didn't do was get a divorce and thankfully that looks unlikely! ;P

2009 looks set to be another big year, with a lot more firsts, but I am hoping it will be far less stressful than the year I have just endured. I'm not sure I could ever do what I have done in a 12 month period again. No thank you.

I'm not big on new year resolutions but I do set myself goals every year. I know I am going to achieve the goals I have set for myself for the coming year, because I will not let myself fail. My drive and my passion are strong and my optimistic streak pushes me to always do my best.

I am thankful for many things that have happened to me this past year. Things that have helped to continually shape the person that I am. To all of you that have had a part in that (and I'm sure you know who you are), thank you.

I have a great feeling about 2009. It's going to be a great year. Mark my words :D

Wait a second ... it ain't over yet!

2008-12-20T20:24:00.000-08:00

I just wrote a blog post about my year and then just as I was about to post it I realised that there are still two major events to occur this year so you'll just have to wait a few more days!

One of those major events is my birthday, so I'm hoping for a particularly bloody marvellous one this year!

We will return to regular programming soon ... I promise :D

2008-12-11T21:46:00.000-08:00

Dear blog readers ....

I will write again. I promise :)

I'm just crazy busy doing this whole retail at Christmas thingy (it's my 17th year doing retail at Christmas ... I am insane).

I promise a blog post full of wit (or something that rhymes with that) very very soon!

<3 Spi :)

Flat out like a lizard drinking!

2008-11-22T18:34:00.000-08:00

It's been an extraordinary few months and so much is going on at the moment. Working 5 and a half days a week leaves little time for socialising or relaxation and with Christmas rapidly approaching ... lets just say I'm flat out like a lizard drinking!

I have invested a lot of money into my shop and it looks amazing. The difference since I took over is awesome and the feedback I have been getting is fantastic. Next week I have a web designer coming to see me. I was planning on waiting until after Christmas to work on my site, but as fate would have it one Saturday afternoon shortly before closing I h ad some customers in who were just totally in awe of my shop. The following Monday I received a phone call from this guy who loved the shop so much than when he got home he checked to see if I was online. When he hit my site and saw the coming soon page he called me up to ask me if I had anyone lined up. I told him I had nothing set in concrete so he offered to come to me to talk about it! I was stoked. With time being so short, having someone willing to come to me is a huge bonus. So this week I will be meeting with him to start designing my site. I'm quite excited by this :)

My plans for the direction of my shop have been somewhat dampened however by this whole stupid economy at the moment though. I am trying to deal with a few international suppliers but it's damn hard with the dollar the way it is currently. I'm still going to go ahead, but I'm crossing my fingers that it's not TOO long before there's a bounce back, otherwise I'll have to come up with a new objective. Luckily for me, I'm not the most stupid person around so I am working on a few other more profitable (for the time being) ideas. Looks like I might be making a little trip up to Sydney again soon for one of these reasons :D

There's a few big trade fairs coming up, a massive one in Sydney in February and another in New York in March that I am going to try my hardest to get to. Just gotta get through Christmas first ...

So, it's all good in my little world at the moment, and I hope it stays this way!

I wanna be a kid again!

2008-11-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

Wasn't life sooooo much easier when you were young? I mean, you lived at home, no rent or mortgage repayments, no bills, your mum did your washing, cooked your dinner and drove you around. All I had to do was feed the kitties and keep my room clean. I had a weekend job and any money I made was mine, all mine!! I paid no tax (cos I earned no money basically lol) and had zero responsibility.

Sure, I had relationship problems. I had an on/off boyfriend how was basically a total jerk, but I 'loved' him sooooooo much that I kept forgiving him for all his shit. The little jerk was such a wanker but hell he was cute, so .... ;P

He broke my heart, but a week later I had a new love. He too broke my heart, then I broke a few hearts, then ... oh I think about then I turned 18 and started to think and try to act like an adult!!

At the time I thought my life was so full of complications and problems and hassles! If only I knew what was to come ....

Retrospect is a wonderful thing, but geez it pisses me off. All those things I could have avoided if only I'd known. But on the other hand, hell I've had some fun making mistakes!

These days I'm responsible for 3 little kids. I'm responsible for feeding them, clothing them and keeping them happy and safe. It's the single most biggest stress of my life. Because I want them to never want for anything. I want them to always be in good health. I want them always to smile. I never want them to experience hurt. Of course, I know these things are inevitable.

Now I am the major breadwinner for our family my stress levels have gone through the roof. I think I now know what my husband has been going through for the last how ever many years. I constantly worry that I'm going to fail ... yet at the same time I have such ambition to make sure that I don't. My moods yoyo from extreme optimism to self doubt. I feel like a totally hormonal bitch at times, which is so strange for me as I am not your 'typical' chick. I've never had hormonal swings before.

So, yeah ... take me back to being 17 again ... hell it was easy back then!!!

Although, you know, with all that I have had and all that I have experienced ... all my heart breaks and all my loves ... all the people who have been a part of my life and helped to shape who I am ... all the conversations I have shared with those who mean the most to me .... most of these have occurred in the years since I became an adult. So, on second thoughts, maybe I am happy where I am, with the knowledge that there is more really good stuff (and really shitty stuff) to come.

One month down!

2008-10-29T17:13:00.000-07:00

So, I have had my shop for a month now and it looks so different to the day I took it over. I am getting lots of feedback on how much BETTER it all looks now, which is totally awesome! I am at the moment organising a bit of a grand re opening of sorts for next weekend. There will be balloons and cookies for the kids and .... a face painter!!! I love face painting. So much so in fact that I will get my face painted on the day too I think! I'm putting a half page ad in the local paper next week for a little promotion, so I hope it brings in a few peeps and of course a few dollars :D

As usual, my mind is about 100 miles ahead of where it should be and I keep telling myself I should be slowing down and taking it one day at a time, but I have this ambitious streak that has hit me head on and I feel like I need to act on it. I suppose time will tell what comes of it all. In the meantime, I damn well hope this economy picks up, particularly the Aussie dollar against the US, as that has a fair bearing on a major element of my future plans .... definitely just have to wait and see there.

People are starting to buy for Christmas already which is good but also daunting! It's still October!!! Not that I'm knocking it! Bring it on, I say!!

Year 12 runs amok

2008-10-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

It was Year 12 Muck Up day in town last night and the streets are littered with little polystyrine balls and shaving cream adorned windows! My shop escaped unscathed luckily! My window cleaner came in this morning and we got talking about the muck up day and it turns out that I went to school with his daughter! We got to laughing about her in her costume for the day which was a giant nappy! So funny. I remember her clear as day in that get up too! So I've been remembering my muck up day quite fondly. I dressed in my 'modified' school uniform for the night. I cut my skirt to just below my bum, had knee high black socks and high heeled boots, a white shirt unbuttoned to reveal a black bra and bright pink hair!! It was such a riot of a night. We stayed out all night drinking and causing havoc to the school and town, which we were then made to clean up the next day hung over as all hell! It was a good night. I remember a photo of me sitting on the edge of the basketball court with my hair in pink dreadlocks caused by flour egg and god knows what else getting into it! I was covered in permanent black texta from all the phone numbers of friends written on me .... making me laugh know as I think about those kids doing what I did some 14 years ago :D

Slowly growing :)

2008-10-23T02:43:00.000-07:00

Quite an exciting week so far. I finally received my clothing line from the US which is getting rave reviews from all that have seen it so far. I am dressing my middle feral in it and letting her wander the streets (just kidding) as advertising! Lots of people are saying how wonderful it is to see the shop full of stock again and I have also had quite a few say that they like it more than the previous owner! Of course, being a small town I still have my doubters, and I always will. That was always to be expected.

I am planning my next trip to the US. I can't give away too much but it will have a significant effect on what course my career takes. And hopefully that course is success of course! Hopefully in mid January I will be in LA again and also San Francisco. I had planned to go to New York as well, but with the Aussie dollar looking the way it does, I may have to stick to the west coast for now and head to New York later next year. All going the way I *hope* it goes, this shouldn't be a problem by then!

It's strange being away from the kids. I miss them a lot. I don't miss the tantrums and random screaming matches for no reason, but I miss their voices and kisses and cuddles. I have also learnt that my kids are freakin awesome really, compared to others! Some of the kids that visit my shop should be locked up!! Not to mention the parents! The other day, I was about to lock up the front door to close for the day when I heard a little noise. There, in the playroom was a little girl of about 7 ON HER OWN. I asked her where her mummy was and she said 'in a shop shopping.' Seriously, who does that? Who leaves their little kid to wander aimlessly? Morons. And don't get me started on the ones who think that my stock is a free for all play area and that it costs me nothing if they break all my toys. Makes me so mad. Totally not the kids fault though. They need the guidance of their parents .... which I have discovered is sorely lacking in too many cases.

Anyway, all is progressing nicely and I am finally making some head way into developing my website. Oh and when I say developing, I mean paying someone else to do it of course! I'm way too much of a nuffy to even think about doing that myself!

Super busy ... my brain could do with a day off! :D

2008-10-18T01:10:00.000-07:00

There is so much going on in my life at the moment and I have barely had a moment to sit down. The times when it is quiet at the shop I relish, as it gives me a chance to kick back and relax. Having said that though, I seem to be constantly doing something!

This week I advertised in the local paper and the response has been quite good. I am getting customers coming in and talking to me as if they know me!! This is due to the fact that the paper ran an editorial on me and basically told my life story!! hehehe

The editorial also resulted in some companies contacting me wanting me to stock their products. Happily there are a lot of high quality, high end companies liking me, which is my ultimate goal, particularly once I go online.

Also at this time we are doing a major house extension and renovation which is frustrating but also exciting. My dream home is being built and once finished will be damn shit hot. I have only managed to go to the site a couple of times as I have been too busy, but it looks awesome and I cannot wait to move in. Will of course post pics once it's done, probably with before and after so you can see the difference. Exciting times!

I still haven't started my website yet. The biggest hurdle I have at the moment is that I work 9 - 5 and as I am on my own at the shop, making phone calls can be tricky as obviously the customer comes first. Web developers have the same office hours as me so not quite sure how I'm going to go about this. Might have to get me a minion!! It's frustrating too because I want the site up and running ASAP as I am sure this is where I am going to be the most successful. Particularly with the ideas I have for it. I believe what I want to do will be quite unique to Australia so I am very very excited!! Big ideas I have!!!!

Now I am indulging in some much needed wine ... been super hot today and I am loving the change in the weather. Will be loving it even more when I can swim in my pool that is coming with my reno ... YAY!!

Happy days :)

Blue

2008-10-07T19:04:00.000-07:00

It's Mental Health Awareness Week and twitter is awash with blue avatars of wonderful people supporting this cause.

One of my favourite charities is Beyond Blue. The reason for this is because four and a half years ago (or thereabouts) I suffered from a form of depression that is so very common yet rarely talked about even now: Post Natal Depression.

It was a very horrible time in my life. I had a form of post natal depression that was fueled by anxiety. I was certain that my newly born son was going to die. It haunted my every breathing moment. All I wanted was to shield him from the world and protect him forever. I was certain if someone tried to do anything to him I would put myself before him. Had anything happened to him, I would have quite possibly never made it myself.

On top of this anxiety that harm would befall him, was my inability to breast feed him. We struggled for 11 long weeks. I had to use a nipple shield which meant I barely left the house, because as anyone who has ever had to use one knows, it's impossible to feed in public without everyone getting a good look at your breast and I was not at all the type of person comfortable with flashing my boobs in public (4 yrs and 3 kids later it's a different story!!! lol). We were virtually isolated inside and I was going insane. Literally.

I rang the breast feeding association. I have to say, I encountered the most unhelpful woman ever. I was crying. A lot. I could barely talk. My son wasn't feeding. He was crying. You know what she said to me? She said, "let me send you an info pack, it's obvious from your tears that you're desperate to breast feed him" ... an info pack??? Hello? My life was and had been in hell for the past 9 weeks. An info pack? Lady, I needed help, and I needed it right then. As I was living in Perth at the time, I rang the local parent help line at Ngala (wonderful peeps who continued to provide support for 4 years) and got a wonderful woman on the phone. She had suffered exactly what I had been suffering. She knew the pain I was in. She asked me, very gently, "Will he take a bottle?" "Yes." I said. We had been giving him bottles in between breast feeds as he was starving. "Then give him a bottle and DO NOT feel guilty about it. DO NOT." I gave him a bottle. He stopped crying. I stopped crying. I also made the decision to stop breastfeeding him and use bottles. He became a different child overnight. I became a diiferent woman. My depression lifted remarkably quickly as I was able to leave the house and not spend hours of every day crying.

As a bit of a postscript, I would like to mention that the lady from the Breastfeeding Association never did send me any information. I would also like to note that my 2nd child breast feed like a champion for 8 months, even after being a neonate baby and tube fed for the first week of her life. My third child was also a champion feeder, though I felt I was slipping into the depths of depression again after her birth, so I made the tough desicion to stop breast feeding her as I wasn't eating or looking after myself at all, so was therefore not really looking after her either. We lasted 3 months the third time.

So many people have an opinion about post natal depression. Every one is a doctor in their own heads. A couple of years after my depression I was finally able to talk about it. My cousin laughed at me and told me I was "sleep deprived". Even my own mother questioned whether I had had depression. No wonder we don't talk about this stuff. Every one laughs at you or tells you (ironically) that you are 'crazy' for thinking you're crazy.

After 3 children I am happy to say that I only suffered PND once. I was lucky to have a wonderful husband who stood by me and understood. Who helped me and who helped me get help. Who sat with me in the middle of the night and held my hand while I cried and tried to get Sprat to feed. He also knew the signs to look for after kids 2 and 3 were born and he read books and articles to better understand. Without him, my story might have ended differently, or after a lot longer.

So to anyone who suffers depression ... I know. I know how dark it can be. I also know that I am lucky to have come through unscathed, and after such a short time.

The first week

2008-10-05T13:08:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a very busy first week back at work. We spent the week cleaning and remerchandising the shop. We moved everything around, added new racking and shelving and the shop already looks a million times better than it did. Unfortunately in the past week I have discovered just how many mistakes the last owner had made, so have been busy fixing those too. My dollar figures for the first week were up around 40% on her sales too! This is all very good!

I'm still waiting on a lot of stock, mostly the clothing I have ordered. The fantastic brand that I picked up from Santa Monica is still yet to arrive and I am waiting for it with such excitement! It's truly beautiful stuff and I want to put it on display soooo badly! Hopefully it will arrive sometime this week.

The kids are loving having a toy shop to play in! Mr 4 even helps me ... he greets customers and makes sure all the toys go back in their correct spots when people have been playing with them .. so so cute :D

I am so exhausted though. We went out on Saturday night to celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary (!!) and one of our best friends birthdays and after dessert I nearly fell asleep at the dinner table! So embarrassing! Luckily they're our best mates and I didn't offend anyone :)

So today is another Monday morning for me. It's foul weather, raining and gloomy, so I'm not expecting a very busy day ... might give me a bit of time to build more gorgeous wooden toys and play with them! I'm such a big kid! :D

Anyway, I'm off to a good start and my next step is the advertising. Will be giving that a red hot crack this week. Then it's time to get to work on my website ... and by get to work I mean get someone else to get to work!! I'll be paying peeps to do this for me as it's really something I don't want to stuff up! As soon as it's done, I'll post a link then you can all start shopping with me no matter where you live :P

It's here ... Takeover Day!

2008-09-28T15:09:00.000-07:00

Well, today is the big day. I'll be leaving for work in around 1/2 an hour. There are lots of formalities to go through today. I have to pay for the business (ugh) and the stock, pay my lawyers, contact the landlady, merchandise all my new stock .... and hopefully serve lots and lots of customers!!!

I'm really nervous. Have felt physically sick now for the last three days. Not sure of my abilities but I want to be the best in the business! I always reach for the stars, and I'm a bit of a perfectionist which is only adding to my anxiousness. I'm want to do the whole online shopping thing but I am UBER nervous about that, as I have never even created a basic webpage before and now I want to do a massive website ... oy. Just thinking about it makes me want to cry.

Anyway, I hope to take some pictures today, although I am still waiting for lots of stock. The shop looks a little empty at the moment and I want to show it off looking good of course, but I might take some teaser pics just to keep the peeps (particularly @mediamum) happy!

Tell you all about my first day later :)

Nearly mine ....

2008-09-25T13:04:00.001-07:00

So it's Friday morning and at work I am halfway through the stocktake required for the takeover of the shop. It's damn tedious work and leaves you feeling exhausted by the end of the day. But it is also imperative that it happens as I have to pay for all the stock in the shop!

I have started to receive some of my deliveries of stock that I have ordered which is very exciting as well! Opening the boxes is a lot like Christmas! :D

I have also had my first supplier mini war which looks to end today. Basically a company that have been stocked for the previous 4 1/2 years have decided to go ahead and sell to the toy shop around the corner from me. His shop is a tacky Toy Kingdom type affair and not deserving of gorgeous products. However when I asked for exclusivity and placed a 2 and a half grand order with them, they told me that they would not be exclusive to me. I immediately cancelled about 2 grand worth of the order, then spent last night searching for a product to replace the other part of the order. I have found it, and will call that company today to request that I stock their brand. If the answer is yes, then I will completely drop the other company as I am totally pissed off with them and quite frankly won't put up with non loyalty! I'm pretty sure they tried to call my bluff, but it has backfired badly for them!

Monday is rapidly approaching and I am nervous as anything. My mood switches from being very confident in myself to wondering if I can actually pull this whole business woman thing off. It's killing me emotionally and I really wish I had more confidence in myself sometimes.

I got my Moo minicards in the mail yesterday and they are soooooo gorgeous! Can't wait to start handing them out! :D

I also can't wait to be able to post some pics once I have the shop looking awesome! Keep your eyes out for them.

Time to get ready for work now ... will be another big day of mind numbing counting for me. And on Monday it will all be mine!!!! :D

I typed in my name and ... Oh My ....

2008-09-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

What's Sexy About Your Name

You are sexy because you are very physically attractive. You're the type of person many people find sexy.

And you make sure that you always look your best. You love turning heads.

You have major sexual chemistry with a lot of people. You provoke strong emotions.

Some people strongly dislike you, but it's only because they want you so badly. And you're not above turning enemies into lovers.

You're a true rule breaker when it comes to sex. No one is going to fence you in.

If it feels good, you're into it. Physical gratification is the most important thing to you.

What's Sexy About Your Name?

Getting closer ...

2008-09-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

So I actually wanted to vlog this, but I have a couple of ferals who keep yelling out in the same room as me, so it's not going to happen right now! Maybe later.

I have ordered a lot of stock for the shop and I am starting to get nervous about it all being my responsibility in just over a week! I went in and worked at the shop the other day, very easy job, but then again I didn't exactly do a lot! I just sold stuff to peeps :D In a weeks time however, I will have to reorganise the whole shop. The layout it not how I want it and it needs a good clean. I also need things like a vacuum cleaner, a mini fridge, kettle, yadda yadda ... I have so much to do!

This morning I placed an order for a beautiful environmentally aware baby product. Gorgeous onesies made from bamboo. They're divine. The fabric is so soft and beautiful to the touch. They also have gorgeous vintage fabric accents to make them oh so unique. Very excited.

One thing I have noticed is the sheer amount of products out there. There are so many companies on the market and it can be very overwhelming. I can see that I am going to learn a lot along the way. Having always been in fresh food retail the good thing about this is that my products won't have an immenent expiration date! Other than seasonal changes of course.

I did learn the other day that in the area I live, which is a relatively small town, has 160 births every year. This is great for me as they can all buy their newbie gifts from me!! :D

My next step is to get online. Quite scared about that. I am quite a noob technically so I hope I get someone willing to explain things to me in noob language and guide me through everything! I hope that eventually the majority of my sales come from my online business that way I can offer things that I simply could not offer in a small country town. There is some money here, but also a lot of people tight with their money! It's going to be interesting to see how some of the labels I have secured go. Hopefully good.

I will be going in to the shop later today and could quite possibly be alone for some of it. Not really happy about that, as it's still not mine, but the other option was having the shop shut for part of the day, and that actually will hurt 'my' business. So, I'm heading in!

Then of course, it is the buying fair in Sydney this weekend. Such a hardship!!! I love Sydney and can't wait to go back there again. Also staying at The Rocks which is my fave part of Sydney. Should be GREAT :) Methinks cocktails on the harbour might be in order!!

My first fashion fair :D

2008-09-14T17:09:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I went to my first Trade Fair for the fashion industry. I have to say I had an awesome time and I am so excited to be a part of this. I feel like I have found my niche.

I am so very excited about one particular label I managed to secure. They are based out of West Hollywood and have stockists all over the US but have only just brought their brand to Australia. I will be one of the first to stock them. They are funky and eclectic, fresh and fun. Not to mention absoulutely gorgeous. I had to buy pieces for my own kids while I was ordering for the shop! I have big plans for this label, I hope that it does as well as I am expecting.

On that note, the next thing I need to do is start building my website. Currently there is a dodgy site for my shop, but it needs MAJOR work and I also want to introduce online shopping. I have zero idea what I am doing here, so I have been researching companies based out of Melbourne that I can get to do all the work for me :D

I have a few other US brands that I am eager to stock and will start contacting them as soon as I take possesion of the shop.

Other exciting news to come out of the fair: Whilst I was talking to the girls about their brand they mentioned a big trade fair that is in New York and recommended that I try to make it there to see it. I mentioned this to hubby and he seemed to green light it! Will try to incorporate it in my trip to the US early next year.

So all in all, a successful first foray into this new career of mine. I am just so excited about it all.

Oh and in other news hubby bought himself a mini digger yesterday. No idea what for other than to say, boys and their toys!

In case there's no tomorrow, I love you.

2008-09-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

I just had a terrible phone call with one of my best friends. She called to tell me that one of her friends had lost her husband in a car accident the night before last. He has left behind his wife and their two little boys aged four and three.

I cannot even begin to comprehend what she must be going through right now.

The accident happened only five minutes from home. She heard the sirens wailing at midnight then an hour later the police were knocking on her door with the tragic news.

My heart is broken into a thousand pieces for her right now.

My friend and I of course talked about all the things that are possibly happening right now. All the things that may have been left unsaid. Fights unresolved.

It has also got me to thinking about this online world that so many of us are so heavily involved in. I have made a lot of 'virtual' friends, friends that my husband, family and friends don't know. I wonder what would happen if I died ... how would you all find out? Who would care? Is a virtual friendship as important as a real life one? I know I have online friends that I would be truly devastated to discover if some tragedy had befallen them. But how would I ever know?

For me, I would probably announce an exit from this online world, so if that never happens yet you see no more blogs, no Tweets and no uploads to flickr, chances are that awful thing that I can barely bare to talk about has happened to me.

Currently there are people in my life who I have left things unsaid with. They range from family to friends. Some of them I don't have the courage to say the words I want, or need, to say to them. Others, I just haven't had the time, which is pathetic.

I've already kissed, hugged and told my husband and kids that I love them today. As I do every day. But I haven't told my best friend that she means the world to me. I haven't told my mum and dad. And I haven't told others some things I should have.

Sometimes life comes and kicks you in the guts and fucks it all up. Tell the people that are important to you what they mean to you. There may not be a tomorrow.

Sanctuary

2008-09-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

So, I want to ask, what's or where is your sanctuary? For me it's the bathroom (and for clarification I mean where I shower, not the toilet). The bathroom is the only place in my house that I can ever be truly alone. It's where I do all my best thinking. It's where I relax. Where I contemplate my navel. Study my face for all its imperfections. Where I check out the baby belly in the mirror and (thankfully) watch it shrinking every day (long way to go yet though!). Sometimes I get so lost in thoughts in the shower that I don't realise exactly how long I've been in there and when I check my watch it can be 20 minutes later. The shower is also the place where I can cry, where no one can see me and no one knows. Where I can let it all out and emerge fresh as a daisy feelin' fine.

My one other sanctuary is my car. When I go for a drive on my own, in the R32. When I have the music loud, when it's completely my choice. Where I can have the sunroof open and the wind blowing around me. I could drive for hours and hours and hours. I love it. Any excuse to drive and I'm there. Bit of a passion of mine though, as I come from a teeny bit of a racing pedigree (don't laugh) ... my Dad was a rally driver way back when .. he actually raced against Brocky when he was just starting out (for the record Brocky whooped Dad's ass). Dad taught me to drive. I didn't have lessons from a driving school .. I had lessons with Dad. One of the first times he took me out he took me to a gravel road, told me to floor it to 100kph then lock the brakes up. He taught me how to really drive. How to feel the car. Probably why I love cars and driving as much as I do.

So, that's it, just wanted to share where my sanctuaries were :D

Awesome Women

2008-09-01T23:37:00.000-07:00

I'm just home after spending the afternoon with my best friend from high school. We've been friends for nearly (omg) 20 years and now I have moved back home we pathetically had only managed to catch up once in 3 months! So today we got together for a coffee and freakily managed to BOTH be without kids for the afternoon! It was unbelievable.

We got to talking about my trip of course and we talked about how I got a little (okay a lot) emotional on seeing the Hollywood sign. See, we both studied Drama in high school together (it's how we got to become really close friends) and she told me about a bad experience she had with another of our teachers. Basically he had been dating her mum, and when it all went sour, he failed my friend, thus ending her chances of further success in the field of acting.

This got me thinking about how influential our teachers are, and how one little thing can change the course of a persons life. Both these drama teachers we had have a hell of a lot to answer for and I truly hope that they questioned their abilities and worth as teachers. Of course they probably didn't, but I can live in hope.

We are still both awesome women regardless of what they said to us. Both of us are mums and businesswomen and have successful lives. But we both talked of the 'what ifs' this afternoon ... what if we had both made it and gone to study at NIDA ... just where would we be today?

I had such a good time this afternoon, being with someone who knows my secrets exactly like I know all hers. A friendship that has survived heartbreak and distance. We both missed each others weddings as she was in WA when I married in Victoria, and I was in WA when she married in Victoria! But she is and has been my best friend through everything and I am so glad that now we can share our awesome lives together in the same town again!

(For you Nat .. thank you for the last however many years! PS I still can't get over those couple of weeks you stole Matt from me before we became really good mates!! I also cannot get over the fact that he gave you MY ring ... thanks for giving it back to me but!!)

Yay for me!

2008-09-01T01:11:00.000-07:00

Well, the big news is on hand! Today I bought a business!!!! I still cannot believe that I will be returning to PAID work at the end of the month! I'm excited, scared, nervous but most of all optimistic that I will achieve all the goals that I have set myself. I am so so happy right now. As soon as things become a little more official I will update details ... :D

Broken

2008-08-29T22:44:00.000-07:00

It hasn't happened for a long time now and yet after such a positive week I should have seen it coming ... Master 4 got to me so much today that he broke me. I wound up sobbing my heart out as I just didn't have the strength to deal with him anymore. Every day my ability as a mum is tested and on the whole I think I do okay ... but every now and then I get defeated. There are so many positives for parenting and I wouldn't change my life for the world ... but man is this the hardest job in the world or what? I feel a sense of guilt about going back to work, which I am sure I shouldn't but ... geez .... haha ... mother guilt. Arrives the day your first child is born and goes with you to your grave. Meh ... I'm okay, just had to get that off my chest. Back to regular programming ...

Busy :)

2008-08-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

So I've been home for a week now, and I finally don't look tired anymore! I have had a very busy week checking over all the leases and profit/loss statements for the shop I want to buy. On Monday I meet with the landlord to have a chat about what she'll let me do to the shop. All being okay, looks like I will be going ahead! So excited! I have been researching brands and labels that I want in my shop and also checking out shops overseas to see what they are doing. I have been the busiest and most productive I have been in ages! I really want this to work ... urgh, I keep saying that I know, but this is my online journal so it's kinda like an affirmation of sorts! Anyway, I'm going to enjoy my weekend, do a bit more searching for things and then hopefully have some exciting news to share early next week!! :D

I have a dream ...

2008-08-26T01:54:00.000-07:00

And for me, it's a big dream. I don't like to do things by halves. I like to think and dream big and this idea of mine is no exception. I am currently in talks to buy a business. It's only little and due to personal circumstances the owner has let it slip a fair bit. But it's there, and it is a platform to be developed and expanded. On Monday I will be meeting with the landlord of the building to see if she is as forward thinking as I hope she is.

Being hard working and very successful in the past has given me this unbelievable drive to do it all again. I have a passion for something that I believe I can manipulate into success. If I build it, they will come :)

I'm going to throw myself into this heart and soul and I hope that within a couple of years it is at the point that I can work 100% from home. Oh boy, I am so excited and optimistic right now!

Home

2008-08-23T12:53:00.000-07:00

Home. Back to reality. My flight from LA to Melbourne was easy and uneventful. I was upgraded to Business class again for the flight home and I am glad as I got to sleep for about 6 hours. I was sitting next to a woman who was in Fashion and who had just done an uber 9 day trip of London, Tokyo, New York and LA. She was great to talk to and we chatted about all the things that I had done and now want to do and she offered me some great advice which I will take onboard and try to apply to my future.

The biggest news to come out of my time away is that it looks as though I may return to work full time and hubby will become a stay at home Dad!! This is both exciting and daunting, thinking that I will be the major breadwinner for the household. Although hubby can work from home as well, so at least it won't be solely on my shoulders. I have two major ideas at this time that I am looking into. Both involve possible travel which is something that I was hoping to incorporate into my career.

I am very optimistic though unsure of my abilities. If I were a more confident person I wouldn't have these worries. It is something I am going to work on. In LA I met lots of people in my everyday activities, like cab drivers for instance, some of whom offered changes to my perspective. One cab driver told me that my name was too plain. "No, no you cannot just be Penny. From now on you are Beautiful Penny." He was hilarious and wouldn't let me leave the cab til I had said what my name was maybe half a dozen times! Now while I still believe he was a bit over the top, the essence of what he said, to me, is that I need to believe in myself and believe that I am better than nothing. I'm certainly going to try.

So, wish me luck and let's hope that I can be "all that" and watch this space, as always, to see if I achieve my dreams.

Home time ...

2008-08-20T14:26:00.000-07:00

So, it's nearly all over. It's nearly time for me to go home. Nearly time for a 15 hour flight over the Pacific. I can't wait to hold each and every member of my family. I'm looking forward to being back in Australia. Smelling the clean air.

My favourite moments from this trip? Seeing the Hollywood sign for the first time, the Getty Centre, Rodeo Drive and the Griffith Observatory.

I think I grew a lot on this trip. A lot of time alone, a lot of thinking done.

I'm taking so much with me, but I think I'm leaving a little piece of me here.

Last night in Santa Monica

2008-08-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here in my room watching the sunset. Tonight is my last night in LA, although I don't fly out until around just after 11.30PM tomorrow so I still have one full day left here.

I have loved my time here, although I will be glad to get back to my family as I have missed them a lot. Apparently my little baby girl has moved from her bassinet to a cot since I have been gone and I missed that! That makes my heart faulter a little bit.

This time I have had alone has been really clarifying. I have made some decisions about what I am going to do with my life. I have never been more optimistic.

This last week here in LA has been great for me and I have done things that I have dreamt about for such a long time. Parts of my stay I will keep with me always.

I am so grateful that I got to experience this. It was a long time coming, but I have now done it, and I feel that I have gained a lot of independence and growth from this trip. Now the next bit is to apply this to my life back at home and hope that I can be an even better mum and try to have that career that I have always wanted.

Rodeo Drive

2008-08-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

This morning I visited Beverly Hills, or more specifically, Rodeo Drive. It's very pretty which is to be expected given all the top fashion houses there. I walked all around Rodeo first before I visited any shops so that I could make my choices!

My first stop was a sunglasses shop where I indulged in a new pair (brand new Chanel ones, the first pair they had sold!). They are smokin' hot sunnies if I do say so myself. Next I wandered in to La Perla. Given my love of lingerie it was impossible to leave here without something. Mind you, and the price of La Perla I may frame the set I bought and hang it on the wall!!! I wandered all over looking at shoes shoes and more shoes, but I just cannot resist Jimmy Choo. The shoes there are impossibley exquisite so I had to buy another pair! I'm sooooo bad.

I then had brunch on Rodeo (yes, brunch peeps!) watching the world go by. Another stop in a few more shops and I then walked around for a few blocks.

I'm totally loving all the walking that I have been doing. Best way to explore a new place is to walk I reckon. It was getting pretty hot and I had a lot of bags :D so I decided to cab it back to Santa Monica. Today both my cab drivers have NOT tried to kill me (which is a first) so I got back to Santa Monica without needing defribrilation.

Ah, another successful morning in Los Angeles ....

The Getty Centre

2008-08-17T22:12:00.000-07:00

Today I visited the Getty Centre, an architectural delight high up on a hill overlooking Los Angeles. I had been looking forward to seeing the Getty Centre so much and I am pleased to say that it lived up to all my expectations and then some. It wasn't just the arcitecture. Though that was brilliant and clean and wonderful. It wasn't looking at beautifully and meticulously landscaped gardens and sitting under some fabulous trees drinking it all in. It wasn't staring at beautiful beautiful paintings by Monet (my fave from the Impressionists) or Van Gogh, Rembrandt or Renoir. It wasn't even the brilliant photographs that graced the walls, showing people whose lives could be told simply through their eyes. No, for me, the Getty Centre was brilliant because of the views.

Unfortunately it was quite smoggy today, so my pictures are not much, but I could see all the way to Santa Monica and to downtown LA. It was BRILLIANT. Seeing a massive freeway cut right through the centre and glisten in the sun was something I have only ever imagined. The freeways here are like nothing I have ever seen before. I mean, I've lived in a city (hello Perth!) but your four lane Stirling Highway has nothing on seeing 12 lanes of traffic, all bumper to bumper cut through the landscape! And the smog of Melbourne? Pffft ... it's got nothing on here baby. But you know what? I love it. I totally love it. I'm such a city girl at heart I think! Don't get me wrong, there are soooo many things I love about the country, and that is where I want to be for my kids to grow up, but I think I have realised that I really truly love the city. The pace of it. The chaos. I adore it.

Tonight I risked a walk down to Santa Monica Pier in the DARK. And I am so glad I did. It has such a different feel to it at night. Was wonderful. I found a tank top that said Pirate Wench on it so I had to buy it!!

Now I'm having a few drinks and relaxing. Three more nights and days then I fly home. I miss my family tremendously but this has been so good for me to get away. Have had a lot of time to think and I know what I want to do with my life now. And you know what, I'll be damned if I let anyone steal this from me. From now on I know what I am capable of, and if anyone tells me otherwise, I'll tell them to go to hell. My 'Hollywood' dream will be a reality :D

From Hollywood to Melrose

2008-08-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

I should actually begin by saying that yesterday I saw Santa Monica Pier, 3rd Street Prominade and took a wander down Main Street checking out all the little shops down there. I had a great day and walked heaps. Santa Monica Pier was fantastic to see, but what I liked the most was looking north to the cliffs and hills around Malibu. Totally gorgeous.

But the best part of my trip so far happened this morning. I went into Hollywood and saw the infamous Hollywood sign with my own eyes. Insignificant to some, I'm sure, but to me this was a 20 year dream come true. I am not afraid to admit that as I stood there tears came to my eyes at a dream realised. When I was 12, all I wanted to do was act (cliche, I know). But I did. I was so very passionate about it. I studied drama all through school and my two dear Drama teachers supported me the whole way through. My dream was always to go to NIDA to study and to hopefully make it big. Then in Year 12 I continued my drama studies but it got a lot harder and my beloved drama teacher retired and he was replaced by an English teacher. We didn't gel from the start, he was a teacher I had never liked and having him teach my favourite subject came as a real blow. Less than a quarter of the way through Year 12, just after I had out countless hours of preparation into my exam (which was a monologue performance) he told me that I was not good enough to persue acting. I was ugly he told me. My whole world came crashing down and I quit the subject and went on to complete Year 12 and high school with my dreams of NIDA shattered. So today when I saw that sign, what it meant to me came flooding back. How one person crushed my little confidence and ended a dream. Had I been a stronger person back then, I would have continued regardless, but I wasn't, so it all fell apart. I must have stared at that sign for half an hour today before I decided to walk thru Hollywood along Hollywood Boulevard looking at all the stars on the pavement. I kept walking. And walking. West along Hollywood Blvd, down along Sunset, all streets I have dreamed about for years. I walked all the way to Melrose Ave.

On Melrose I had a true LA moment that made me laugh. I was in Marc Jacobs looking at handbags and saw one that I absolutely loved. I asked if they had it in black. The sales assistant looked it up and said they did indeed have it in black and he would get it to show me. A few moments later he was back as he could not find it. 'Maybe it's in the window on the mannequin' he said, so he went to look. When he came back in the chick assistant said (total American drawl) 'oh ya know, I think Winona has it on loan' .... 'oh that's right she does' he said. 'Winona Ryder you know. I can get it back of her for you if you like. Her assistant just drops back stuff whenever ya know' ... I had to laugh. It's okay, I said (like I want a used handbag!!! I don't care if it was used by Winona, I wanted my OWN bag). Also, how come she only loans it??? She has waaaaaaay more money than me, she could have bought it with change no doubt. Anyway, I bought a different one, same style just smaller, then I got the guys to call me a cab. While we were waiting we got chatting and before I knew it they had drawn me maps (including directions to where tha paparazzi hang out!!) offered me water and champagne and told me all the cool places to check out. Was well worth the visit.

This afternoon I had a pedicure and a manicure (including the best arm and calf massage ever) then wandered down to Macy's (which looks EXACTLY like Myer) to buy another suitcase so I don't have to worry about not being able to fit all my stuff in. Now I am having a glass of wine and watching the sunset. Tomorrow I think I will visit the Getty Centre and drink in some of the arty side of California.

I really do love it here :D

Sunny Santa Monica!

2008-08-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

Today I flew from Las Vegas to Los Angeles. It was a brilliant flight of only 40 minutes which I was so very happy about, especially as it was scheduled to be 1 hour and 10 minutes!! When I landed in LA it was noticably cooler than Vegas but much more humid. LAX is enormous! The biggest airport I have been in thus far.

I got a cab and left LAX for Santa Monica. My taxi driver was a French American hell bent on trying to get us killed in traffic! But he was a great conversationalist and told me all about 'Australian kissing' (apparently the french version of french kissing) and laughed hysterically at his own story!! We talked about all my kids and the fact that my hubby let me (I love that, every one says he let me come here ... does he own me? I sure as hell don't own him, nor he me, and we both like this arangement) come to the US alone. When he heard I had three kids he looked at me in the rear view mirror and said 'like making babies do ya??' with a raised eyebrow. Ho hum! But he was a laugh and totally harmless so I gave him a good tip (be kind to ya mum LOL) and he said he'd come back any time to give me a ride!!

My hotel in Santa Monica is unbelievably awesome!! I have an ocean view and a sliding door that opens onto a balcony (ie an inch wide with a railed fence) to let all the gorgeous breeze in. I was immediately reminded of Perth when I opened the door, especially when we lived in South Fremantle and the Freo Doctor used to come in every afternoon.

The afternoon flew by in a wonderful blur and before I knew it I had drunk a whole bottle of Veuve Cliquot by myself and realised I was exhausted. I flopped on the bed and fell asleep. Now I have a second wind and thought I would quickly write this before going to sleep. Tomorrow I plan on seeing Santa Monica Pier and 3rd Street Prominade for some shopping :D As always, you'll find out about my day here :D Night all!

Still living it up in Vegas

2008-08-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

Last night was amazing!

It started at around 6pm when I went to see Cirque du Soleil performing Ka. I got to my seat and there was a photographer roaming around taking pics of people to commemorate their evening. She came and asked me if I'd like my pic taken and suggested she get one of the guys in character to sit with me. I thought that would be a good idea so I didn't look a complete loser :) So, she asked this guy who was so nice to come over. He started by asking me if I was flirting with him, then sat down and said "oh my you smell edible!!" The photographer took our pic and it took ages cos he kept making me laugh with all the flirting he was doing. Was a lot of fun!

The show started and it was AWESOME. Those guys sure know how to stun and amaze! They must be the fittest people on the planet too. The costumes were amazing and colourful.

At the end of the show the pics were available out the front. Mine was unreal. I am so glad that I got it taken. The photographer told me that she told the guy we'd make a cute couple ... awwwww :D

Then I came back to my room to have a few drinks for some dutch courage to go out alone. It's kinda hard to go out by yourself when most people are her with lots of other people or at least their partner. So I quickly drank a couple of beers then headed out. After a few laps of one of the bars here I forced myself to go inside and sit down. Luckily for me I ended up chatting to 2 Irish guys who arrived the same day as me and were starting a road trip. We had quite a few drinks which was not so good for me as the drinks hit me kinda hard and before I knew it I was a lot drunk!

I think I got in around 2 am then crashed. Unfortunately for me, I am cursed by a body clock that wakes early no matter what, so was up again at about 7am ... grrrr

Today I have had a great massage and lost more money on the slots. Thinking about heading out for one last look around, then will go out for a few drinks tonight before I have to leave early for the airport and LA tomorrow! So excited about going to LA. SO many things I want to do there and experience. Can't wait to be by the beach too.

Viva Las Vegas baby!!!

2008-08-12T11:54:00.000-07:00

So, I am here! Finally!! It seems like forever ago that I booked my ticket for this trip, and yet it came around so so quickly. Now I am here and having a blast!

Yesterday went by kinda blurry, but I'm not surprised after 14 hours flying from Melbourne to LA, waiting 3 hours in a dodgy lounge with no fresh air, then another hour on a car with wings to get to Vegas! I then stayed up all day, went shopping and finally dragged myself into bed just before 11pm. I then had THE best sleep, so so deep and uninterrupted and woke up around 7am. That, for me, is a massive sleep!! I took it easy getting ready and have just visited the Bellagio shops this morning, where every shop I entered assistants wanted me to part with cash. Of course, me being me, I obliged in a few of them ;)

Now I am sitting in my room, having a coke, resting my feet for a minute before I head back downstairs to have a go on the slot machines. If I get enough courage, I may also have a go at one of the card tables! Knowing me though, that would result in empty pockets fairly quickly!

I have noticed that everyone tries to get you to eat more here. I ordered a salad for dinner last night, which was awesome I have to say, but it came with a side dish of THREE dinner rolls and SIX packets of crackers!! Plus, THREE portions of butter, which I might add are twice the size of Aussie portions!! Then this morning, I ordered coffee, juice and a croissant for brekkie, only to be asked if I wanted the continental brekkie because it came with two more pastries! No, I do not want to put on any weight while I am here, and get type 2 diabetes from all the extra food!! I have also been avoiding all the motorised walkways that are EVERYWHERE here and using my *gasp* own legs and feet to get places. Also getting used to walking on the right everywhere, though I have managed to crash into a few people cause I was on the left! Whoops.

So, it's off downstairs for me now. Going to see Cirque de Soliel tonight which should be fantastic. Have only been to one of their shows and that was awesome, so I am sure this one will be too. I'm hoping that I have some luck gambling, but am not going to hold my breath on that one!! :D

Some thoughts

2008-08-06T01:00:00.000-07:00

What I am looking forward to:

Choosing what time I wake up, not being woken by a human alarm clock
Not having to check my top for spew before I go out the door
Being able to go out at any time of day
Not having to pack for 5 people
Not having to take a water bottle, vegemite sandwich and banana with me everywhere
Catching up with some special people
Being able to stay as long as I want in the shop of my choice
Staying up late and sleeping in
Shopping
Seeing LA and (cliche time) the Hollywood sign
Seeing the lights of Vegas
Not having to decide what to cook every night

What I am going to miss

The sound of my kids giggling
Miss 5mths gurgling as she drifts off to sleep and her big gummy smile
Miss 2 saying 'roos!' every time she sees a kangaroo and her kisses
Mr 4's totally brilliant drawing and his big cuddles
Hubby, in general, but particularly how secure he makes me feel
The clean air and bright stars that I am already so used to
My car and driving (may have to hire fancy pants car to take for a spin along coast)

But, oh my, I am so utterly totally 100% fantastically excited right now!!!

Starting packing today!

2008-08-03T21:05:00.001-07:00

Okay, I think I am ready to start packing my suitcase. I have purchased everything I could possibly need to take with me including new clothes (hoping I am not the only person who buys new things to take on holiday when one of their main focuses of said holiday will be shopping). Now I am going to get my suitcase down and start throwing stuff in it. I am the ultimate overpacker so if I start now I will be giving myself a week to make some changes to my planned wardrobe. Being a denim freak though I am not entirely sure I can take less than 5 pairs of jeans though, so let's see where else I can cut down! Good thing it's summer in the US so I don't have to pack anything too bulky! The fear is starting to lessen now and I feel a bit more excited than I did a couple of days ago. I have been spending lots of quality time with my little Smirnoff (who will be 5 months old the day I leave) and getting lots of giggles out of her. I'm going to miss her the most I think. I know that's bad to have a 'favourite', but it's only because she is my baby that I will miss her the most. Have loaded lots of pics of the ferals onto my iphone so I can look at them when I'm away. I hope she doesn't change too much or do anything new while I'm gone. I've been there for all my kids 'firsts' and would hate to miss one! But enough about that, as it only makes me scared of leaving again!! Must be excited, it's truly going to be the best adventure! :D

Scared stupid :)

2008-08-01T20:06:00.000-07:00

So I am now just over a week away from jumping on a plane for the trip of my lifetime (so far). I admit, I am scared beyond belief right now. There have been moments these last few days that I have had serious doubts about going and hubby has had to reinforce how good it is going to be and quell my fears to get me to look forward to it with excitement again. I'm scared of leaving my kids behind for 12 days, particularly the two littlest ones. I imagine that they'll change heaps and I'll miss it. On the other hand, I know in order to be a better mum I need this break away from them to rest and reinvent myself (it sounds corny, I know, but after more than 4 years of staying home I need something new to happen to me). I'm sure once I get my bags packed and get to the airport I will be bubbling with excitement (especially if my upgrade to business comes through!!) and looking forward to being able to chill out and relax on my 14 hour journey to LA. I'm sure I am just suffering from the jittters. I'll update how I feel this time next week, when I have only 2 days to go!!

The first time

2008-07-30T04:14:00.000-07:00

Something prompted me to blog about the first night I got hammered tonight (actually, it was a reference to me being the MacGyver of alcohol (thanks Charp!!) on twitter), so here goes ... hope it might make you laugh a little ...

So, I was 14, I think. I got one of my brothers mates to buy me and my bestie a bottle of Southern Comfort (ew). He was 3 years older than us, so getting the booze was no trouble for him. I had the venue. We lived in the country, and we used to have a caravan in the backyard for relies who came to visit to stay in, kinda like a spare room. Anyhow, me and the bestie got the booze and organised a sleepover. Then we took to the van.

To start with, let's get this out of the way ... I did not have a lesbian experience this night.

I did however get raucously drunk. We drank the Southern straight (how, I have no idea. That shit burns and tastes like utter shit). We turned up the music. We drank some more. After some time we decided we needed to pee. The outside dunny (yes, true country form, outside loo) was literally 15 metres from the van, but NOOOOOO, that would be too easy and lady like. The bestie and I decided the best thing to do would be to both squeeze our butts out the van door (at the same time I might add) drop our daks and pee on the step (classy, I know). At that VERY MOMENT in true 'first time getting pissed without parents knowledge, my dad opened up the back door, which was in direct line of site of the van door to check whether we were okay or not!!!

Needless to say, I'm not sure I have ever been able to look at my dad the same knowing that he saw mine and my besties bums hanging out the van door taking a drunken pee ...!!!

Ah, good times. That van holds soooo many memories for me. It became 'the' hangout for years. Boys were able to be snuck in and with 2 double beds, there was plenty of room!! So many bottles of crappy alcohol were drunk and shared there and so many memories made.

A couple of years ago, after years of decomposing, Dad burnt the van to the ground. All that was left was the axle ...

Burning away the thoughts of what his youngest daughter did in there perhaps?!?!? :D

What am I forgetting?

2008-07-29T01:34:00.000-07:00

So, it's less than 2 weeks before I embark on my adventure, and I really feel like I am forgetting something ...

I have my passport, it's new, so it's one of those machine readable ones that I need to get into the states. I don't need a Visa, as apparently I sign a form (a Visa Waiver Program document) that lets me into the US as a visitor on holiday. I have travel insurance. I have my flights booked and accommodation ready to go. I have a new suitcase. I have all manner of travel containers for shampoo, conditioner etc etc that I need. I have ordered US dollars which I will pick up from the bank next week. I have shopping lists (yay!!), camera (need new SD card though as I can't format the new one I bought, dammit), phone switched onto International Roaming. I've bought 2 books for the plane. I have a mini laptop .... I have clothes, shoes and myself .... I have my iphone full of music and also considering taking hubby's ipod nano ...

What am I forgetting?

Trashed, again

2008-07-26T04:25:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here thinking. I'm thinking about lots of different shit, but this thought is recurring. I wonder how many years of my life I am losing by drinking alcohol on a regular basis. The thing is, I use it as a stress reliever. So what I wanna know is what would kill me quicker? A calming glass of wine on a daily basis or the heart thumping stress and anger built up by years of raising children and feeling ENORMOUS mother guilt?

If you know the answer, please let me know :D

Escaping!

2008-07-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

In 3 weeks time I will be nervously waiting for Monday morning to arrive as I will be getting on a plane to go on a trip to the States. Alone. No kids and no hubby.

Consolation for my hubby is that I am flying our nanny from Perth over for the 10 days I am away (clarification: she is 18 and hot). The rumour mill is already in overdrive over this, and I already know that my parents, hubby's parents and all our friends (especially the guys) will be here often for a stickybeak!! :P

Since I married so very young (child bride springs to mind), I never got the chance to travel like most of my friends did and then when I finally got enough money to do it, I also had my 3 beautiful ferals which meant that I couldn't.

Then one day hubby and I got talking and he suggested that I just go and do it. Book a trip and go. Do all the things I wanted to do.

The only stipulation was that he rather I go somewhere that wasn't as appealing to him. I have wanted to visit LA since I was a kid. As a teenager I studied acting and wanted like ever other wannabe starlet to see Hollywood. And being a shopaholic and total utter shoe lover, I want to shop!! Easy decision to make. Los Angeles, here I come!

I also threw in a few days in Las Vegas which has horrified hubby as he would love to visit there himself (but I sorta did that without really telling him until after I did it! Ooops! :P )

I'm excited and I'm scared. I've never been overseas, so to be doing my first trip alone is a quite daunting but I know I'm going to have a ball, and the idea of spending hours not being interrupted by a child is awe inspiring.

I'm sure I will miss the kids (and the hubby, of course) but I absolutely cannot wait for this break, as it will be my first holiday since I had Sprat over four years ago. And if I had any doubt over this trip at all, it was alleviated tonight when I read these words in a book I bought today, "The Intelligent Traveller How to plan your perfect trip" by Jenny Herbet (quote is actually from Mark Twain)

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones that you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the tradewind in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

OMG I have it! The Jeebus Phone!!

2008-07-19T04:21:00.001-07:00

I have the iphone!!

So it took me a little longer than I had hoped, but nevertheless I am now the proud owner of one!! Yay me :D

Unfortunately for me, I cannot use it yet, as I want to unlock it so that I don’t have to go onto one of Telstra’s specified iphone plans and of course the ‘unlocking department’ at Telstra does not work on Saturdays so I have to wait until Monday morning to unlock it and then put my sim card into it.

But, at least I have one!! And it’s so pretty ...

Please can I have my iPhone now?

2008-07-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

So, we moved interstate, moved from the city to the country, and although it is taking time for me to adjust, I can safely say that for the most part I am happy to have made the move. The advantages of moving here far outweigh the disadvantages although these last few days have been hard on me in respect to one thing: the iPhone.

The Jeebus phone.

On launch day, I took a chance at getting one and drove the 1/2 hour up the road to out nearest 'big' town (let me clarify: population roughly 60,000 hardly a thriving metropolis) to queue in the freezing cold for one. I had no luck, which was what I anticipated anyway. I then also had my name down for one (actually two) at Telstra, which they informed me may be a good month before they actually had them in store. I wasn't too fazed by this and had resigned myself to waiting for the pretty little thing until then. Next week, however, I am going down to Melbourne so I thought I would try my luck at one of the stores that actually had the phone for the launch. All good.

Today, however, the Telstra shop nearest to me calls me up, and this enthusiastic young man tells me that they have HEAPS in stock and I should come on up to get one. On my way!!! I exclaimed!

In the car for the 1/2 hour drive I go. Good thing I love driving and good thing I happened to be sans ferals so I was only too happy to be going out for a bit.

Just as I get there, my phone rings again. It's the Telstra dude. "I'm so sorry, but our General Manager has advised us that we aren't allowed to actually sell you the iPhone today."
"WTF??? I just got here!!"
"You're more than welcome to come and look at it though."
Look at it? I KNOW WHAT IT FREAKING LOOKS LIKE OTHERWISE WHY WOULD I BE SO EAGER TO FREAKING GET ONE!!!!!
"When will you be able to sell it?" I asked
"Can't say."

*sigh*

So, today I came this close to being the proud owner of the Jeebus phone, but alas, it wasn't to be. Having worked as a mobile phone salesperson for Telstra in a previous life, my guess is that they will be available tomorrow. In which case I'll just have to get back in the car and drive back up there again to get it.

A mothers instinct

2008-07-04T21:25:00.000-07:00

So today something happened to me that I anticipated happening, but that I had thus far managed to avoid. Whilst carrying the newbie (who is now almost 4 months old) upstairs, I slipped on the top step and went down like a ton of bricks. I was carrying her in front of me and I fell forward. Somehow I managed to break her fall with my arms and although I frightened the hell out of her, she escaped unharmed aside from a small scratch on her face from my thumbnail. Somehow I managed to get my hand behind her head to shield it as I fell. It is only now, after having been and done the grocery shopping and carrying really heavy bags that I realise how much I actually hurt myself in the fall. I strained both my wrists and bruised the side of my right hand. I bruised my left elbow and badly knocked up both knees. My neck was also strained and I have some major shoulder pain, yet my little newbie is fine. I have always, always said that I would throw myself in front of a train to protect my children and I proved this today. The amazing part is that it was all pure instinct. It happened in a split second, I didn't have time to think about it, and yet my reflex was to protect my baby no matter what the consequence. I am totally ecstatic that this was the outcome. It proved my theory that I would indeed do whatever it took to protect one of my own :D

Personality

2008-06-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

To most people, those I know personally and have grown with in the real world for years and also those I have met in the online world, would regard me as a terribly confident person. I am bolshy and loud, I talk a lot and have a great sense of humour. I poke fun at people and love it when people shit stir me back. But every now and then, my guard slips to reveal a rather shy and insecure person underneath. I’m paranoid at how people will perceive me ALL the time. I want people to find me witty and smart, funny and interesting. Not to mention that I hope people find me okay to look at as well! I spend an awful lot of time and money trying to be this person and yet I feel like I fall short all the time. I’m never quite the person I want to be. In the past, I only had to deal with these feelings in the real world, now my world has flowed over into the virtual as well, leaving me with two very separate lives that I need to manage. I was thinking today that although I have more enjoyment in my life as a result of the wonderful people I have met in ‘real life’ that I met online, I also have so much more insecurity. Will they like the real me? Not just the person who has 5 minutes to compose a sentence before writing it. The person who will speak straight away, often without thinking, and more often than not with a fair bit of wine in me! It’s a popularity game that reminds me of high school. I follow you on twitter, will you follow me back? What about FriendFeed? You may follow me on Twitter but you don’t there? Why not? Am I not interesting enough? And if I’m not, what the hell do I do to make myself more interesting? I have always tried to make a point of coming across as happy, and not whinging, particularly on my blog. But I wanted to write this. I suppose I wanted to let everyone know that behind my confident exterior is a person who has as many feelings to be hurt as the next, and an insecurity complex as much as the next also.
And the worst bit, I'm too scared to pimp myself on Twitter and tell people "New Blog Post", yet I want to write more than anything and to do that I need an audience!! Go figure, huh!

Back to the Gym!

2008-06-13T14:03:00.000-07:00

So, we have been in Victoria for almost 2 weeks, and I joined the gym a few days ago to work at the dreaded 'baby belly' that inevitably found its way onto my body after 3 pregnancies (actually it was there after the first, but has got worse with each subsequent stretching!!). I told the lovely lady who signed me up that I was deadly serious and determined to work it off and so as she knows my determination, she spent the whole session pushing and pushing me, yelling at me to keep my belly sucked in and go 'faster, harder, faster!!!' ... which I did. This morning, I am suffering a world of pain, particularly in my obliques, but oh wow, it feels good! It's amazing how great the body feels after exercise! The endorphins rush around and make everything look better and more positive! I also tried to do a detox recently, and whilst I couldn't complete it (it required no eating, and I found this too hard with 3 little kids to not eat: I had zero energy), the 3 days I was on it made a big difference to how I feel and kick started a healthy nutritional pattern that I am also determined to continue. I was pleased that I could slip so easily back into a fitness routine. Going to the gym has always been important to me and I am a big advocate of it. But, oy! My body is telling me it worked out this morning! Ouch!!

Bit of blah

2008-06-09T05:42:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to write a post about my big move, but it was such a shit day (mostly because of Qantas and Australian Air Express) that everything I write sounds like one big whinge. Now, I hate to whinge on this blog, so it's proving to be a little difficult to write. Having said that though, this blog is also very much a journal for me and I want to record the events of the day, so I hope to finish it tomorrow and post it for you all (and me).

In other news in my life, I am starting a detox tomorrow, so I will keep you updated with how that goes for me and what my moods too :D

How people arrive on my Blog

2008-05-20T22:06:00.000-07:00

I get a great deal of amusement from looking at what people google in order to land on my blog. Most days I have a good chuckle about it. However, today I was totally laughing my arse off at this little effort ...

I can't help but feel a sense of disappointment for the poor bastard who clicked on that link and found my little ramble spot!!

Last post from this house :(

2008-05-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

So, the house is a mess, with a massive pile of crap engulfing the dining table. We have soooo much shit coming with us that I have zero idea exactly how we will manage on the plane and at the airport even WITH people helping us at each end!! I have packed away all the food, yet forgotten to eat first (major d'oh), yet I haven't packed up the iMac yet (see what my priorities are can't you!!). Sometime tonight I will leave this house ready for the packers to come in tomorrow and do their bit. There's not much left that I can actually do now, yet it seems like I've not begun. Leaving Claremont will be very sad for me, but at least I have 2 weeks in Subiaco to numb the pain :)

I think I have cried every day since last Tuesday. Every time I think of having to say goodbye to my girls I tear up immediately. Hubby keeps asking if I want to change my mind, and I absolutely don't, but I am devastated to be leaving 3 girls in particular. I'm not sure which day will be the last day I see them so it's like russian roulette, wondering when it will actually end.

I wonder how I will feel tomorrow, when we are out of this house and effectively on 'holiday' for the next 2 weeks. Will I be as sad? Or will I be looking at this a little differently now that the physical hard part of sorting crap has been completed? I'll blog and let you know in a day or two :)

Crackberry Addiction

2008-05-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

I came across this article this morning, 'Blackberry users becoming addicted to gadget' and it prompted me to write a bit of a response, seeing as though I am the proud owner of a Crackberry myself.

I initially bought the Blackberry for my hubby. I was just going to use it whilst I was in hospital following the birth of Kid3 as I knew I would want access to my emails and of course Twitter. I did, however, develop quite an attachment to it, so 8 weeks after my hospital stay I am still in possession of it and hubby has another phone of mine that I have done away with (!!).

My attachment to it though falls short of addiction, I think. I say 'I think' because I would be lost without it however I don't look at it constantly, nor take it to bed with me (unless hubby is away in which case I always take a phone to bed with me, Crackberry or otherwise). It is often on silent as I can't be arsed answering every call that comes my way. I'm a little bit of a 'screener' at times, plus I get so sick of any wally calling up for any old thing. Pisses me right off. But I digress. I was trying to establish if I were addicted or not. If I was at dinner with friends, I would ignore my phone at all times, the only exceptions to this are A) I'm out and a babysitter is at home with my kids or B) I'm out and hubby is home with kids. In these instances I will look at the phone to see if it the person taking care of my kids. If it is, I answer, if not, I let the call go to voicemail, as that is why it is there!! Emails ping constantly, so much so that I have them on silent (except for one account although I don't rush to check that unless I am alone, then I don't rush, I saunter LOL). So, I'm not in a mad rush to be in contact with everybody, but, I would be pretty upset if I didn't have my Crackberry and at a bit of a loss. Although, I would be quite willing to trade it for an iphone .. which begs my next point - will the iphone be the next crackphone?? Is it brand specific or function specific? A mobile phone with the ability to check emails and connect to the web no matter what brand surely makes it capable of being addictive, no?

So, would I suffer withdrawals without my Blackberry? Honestly, yes. But, I would suffer withdrawals without any form of communication so I'm not totally sure it's the Blackberry I'm addicted to, rather I'm addicted to communicating. And that is definitely something I could never live without.

My Tattoos

2008-05-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

So I got a new tattoo yesterday. This was number 4 in my collection. And I love it! It totally rocks! There is something so very addictive about tattoos. It seems that once you get one it is very hard to stop there. Though I did have quite a break between tatts 2 and 3. I got my first tattoo when I was 18. I wrote off my hubbys (he was only my boyfriend then!) car in a rather bad accident. I was t-barred by a van with the drivers side bearing the brunt of the impact. The door of the Commodore wrapped around my leg and my seat was moved a good foot towards the passenger side. The roof tore with the impact and the car buckled. Yet somehow I climbed out through the passenger side, walked back around to the drivers side, reached in for the car phone (it was 1995, he had a CAR phone .. he was smokin'!!) and called the BF before collapsing into the arms of the guy who hit me. The ambos were called and upon arrival they saw me drinking tea (there is ALWAYS tea available after a car accident) and asked where the driver was. I said, 'here' .. they said 'you should be a lot worse. You could have died'. I booked my first tattoo shortly thereafter .. a four leaf clover on my back. My next tattoo was about a year later. I drew a yin yang inspired design and got that one on my upper thigh. I was 19. Then there was an 11 year gap. I didn't get my next tatt until I was 30. A beautiful butterfly on my lower back. It holds deep meaning for me, too deep to go into here. And then came my latest tatt. At 31, having had my last child (last planned child anyway. And trust me, I have ZERO plans for any more) I got the longitude and latitude of the birthplace of my 3 kids. I still want at least 2 more, though I'm not sure where I would get them. My 4 tattoos are all concealable .. in fact you wouldn't know I had tattoos unless I was in my underwear .. although my latest one can be seen above the waist of my jeans. I like to be able to hide them as it gives a little mystery! I love peoples reactions when they find out I have tattoos! There is such a stigma related to people with them even though it is becoming more and more mainstream. I wonder what I will think of them as I get older, which is why each of my tattoos has a specific meaning. They're not just pictures they're symbols of different parts of my life. My own illustrated story on my body. I like that.
If you're interested ... this is where my kids were born

Busy busy

2008-04-27T16:25:00.000-07:00

So, there is a lot of stuff going on in my world at the moment. It's so full on and I barely have time to string a sentence together. We have had the removalists in to do a quote (which I should get back today and which I am anticipating to be HORRENDOUS) and had some friends over who are young and starting out and need furniture and household stuff to show them all the things we don't want. The nanny has been booked pretty much solidly for the next few weeks so we can pack our shit (of which there is an enormous amount). Eleven years of stuff to pack up. Eeek!

We will be moving out of our house mid May into a serviced apartment in Subiaco for a couple of weeks before we make the final trip to Victoria on June 2nd. I'm not thrilled with the idea of 2 weeks in an apartment, but we are not fair from a big park and the shops are VERY close, so we will have stuff to keep the ferals amused, I hope. Plus I have a lot of people to see before we go.

On top of all this I can't switch my brain off at all anymore. It is constantly thinking about so many different things. I have a lot of personal goals this year and I refuse to fail at any of them. Which means I keep on planning in my head and trying to find the time to work at them, but I think I need to just write off the next month and try to not think about stuff.

On an exciting front though, I am about to book in for my next tattoo! I can't wait. That's part of the problem with tatts though ... it gets kinda addictive. This will be number 4 (although I am incorporating it with another one) and I am looking forward to seeing the final result. Not looking forward to the pain so much though!

Anyway, busy day ahead again. My days are always busy yet I often get to the end of the day and wonder exactly what I did all day! Most days I feel like all I am is a 24/7 Dairy Queen!!

Also, the forecast for the day in Central Vic, where we are moving to, is 2C - 12C! ZOMG!! WA just rarely ever gets that cold. The coldest day I have experienced in WA was about 1C and that was a couple of years ago! Brrrrrr! Where we are going can easily and regularly get to minus 5C!!! Not happy about that. Although, it IS perfect boots and denim weather :D

Sad night :(

2008-04-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

Pretty sad right now. Drank a bit too much tonight and got reflective. I started executing all the final parts of our move east today. Had the removalists here for a quote ... wrote an end of lease letter to my landlord ... booked accommodation for the 'in between' period .. and rang Qantas and booked a one way ticket to Melbourne. Even had to book in the cat.

I have a list of things to do a mile long still and can't bare to face it.

I have to say goodbye to my girls and it's gutting me.

I know that leaving is the best decision I could have made for my kids, but I am so so sad right now. I love Perth. I would live here forever if I could.

Doesn't help that I keep selecting all the sad ass songs on my ipod either!

8 random facts

2008-04-16T21:57:00.001-07:00

Okay, well, this kinda sucks as I only just posted a 5 random facts post, but I was tagged by @Fifikins to write this, so I won't disappoint :D

1. I'm left handed, which generally speaking is a sign of creativity. Watch actors in films, they are often left handed. I love being a lefty! I am however quite talented as I can do a hell of a lot of things right handed. I play tennis right handed for example.

2. I had my first kiss at 11. First french kiss at 12. Different boys too. Though the boy I kissed at 11 I went on to date on and off until I was 17. He was the first guy I ever loved. After he broke my heart constantly, he asked me (at 17) to move to Alice Springs with him. Then I broke his heart and said no.

3. I grew up in the country, which I left at 20 to move to Perth. After 11 years here, we are moving back to the country to give our kids that same unique opportunity of having the freedom and safety that comes with country living.

4. I know a lot of people but only let a select few in. These friends mean the world to me and I am fiercely protective of them. If you are judged by the friends you keep, then I must be the luckiest person around.

5. I'm a cat person. I have always had a cat. My first cat (I was 4ish) was fluffy and grey and I called him Muffin. He grew so big (we nicknamed him Horse, like the cat from Footrot Flats) that mum made me change his name. So we called him Matthew. In year 12, when I was 17, I went on a 9 day trek across Tasmania. Before I left I said goodbye to Matthew. Halfway through the trek I turned to my best friend and said, 'Matthew just died'. When I got home I ran inside looking for him and saw mum's face. He had died the day I felt it. Still brings a tear to my eye. When we moved here we got a cat, Max. Max was the most awesome cat in the world and I was so protective of him. We got him from a shelter and he climbed on top of all these other little weeny kitties to get to me. He died suddenly and without reason just before he turned 8. That was a really hard day for me. Max was my baby. I was heartbroken. Fortunately we still had Russia, our little runt putty tat, who we also picked out from the same shelter. She was beaten badly as a kitten and sustained permanent injuries. She was only 5 months old when we got her, so I have no idea what kind of a person could have done that to her! She was so tiny and shy. Scared of men for years. It was only after Max died that she came out of her shell. She is still with us, thankfully.

6. I used to work at Dick Smith Electronics. This is funny as all hell to me as I am so not tech minded! Particularly back then! I used to sell all kinds of things to people that were so geeky. I used to get abused constantly by chauvinistic men who said I shouldn't be working in a man's world. Really, they should have said I shouldn't be working in electronics cos I was useless at it, not cos I was a woman!! I did, however, specialise in mobile phones and became very good at it. I would attend all kinds of Telstra dos and was constantly called by Telstra to commend my actions after happy costumers had called them regarding my 'expertise and help'. :D

7. I have never been overseas. I am going on my first trip overseas later this year, and going ON MY OWN! No kids, or hubby for that matter! Looking forward to doing something I should have done as a teenager.

8. I absolutely love lingerie and can't stand to wear boring practical cotton undies! I like the mystery of lingerie. Knowing what I have on underneath whilst no one else does!!

So there you go. Another 8 random facts. Now I have to tag 8 more people to do this, so here goes ...

@BZB
@jackienopants
@jjprojects
@delaynie
@mercy
@bronwen
@Devyl
@velvetsarah

Have fun and enjoy!!

Stay at home mums don't work? Yeah right.

2008-04-15T15:21:00.000-07:00

So, in light of the fact that I barely had any sleep last night, I thought I would make a little mention of it here for all those people out there (and there are quite a few) who think stay at home mums have it easy.

I often get told that I don't work. Right. Let me just say that I would love to have an easy day job. In fact, my last job, which involved standing for 13 hours a day was far easier than being a mum. When I knocked off work I left my work there, came home, relaxed, ate dinner in peace, watched some TV, read the odd book, flicked through magazines, surfed the net, went out whenever I bloody felt like it, had spontaneous sex, ate and drank what I liked when I liked and slept for as long as I desired.

As a mum, I am on call 24/7. As a mum of a newborn this is really put to the test. I spend hours holding her during the day whilst trying to make sandwiches for the other two. I feed all day long and feel like a damn dairy queen most of the time. I barely eat, as by the time I have finished feeding 3 kids I'm not hungry any more. My dinner, if I get it, is often at 9pm, eaten standing up and cold. I haven't read a book in years. I buy magazines that can easily sit there for days before I even open them. I am often online, only because I can watch the kids playing in the backyard from my desk, but I spend a lot of time typing one handed as I am usually holding the Newbie. If I want to go out, I have to organise a babysitter. If I go out with 3 kids ... let's just say I rarely go out with 3 kids. Spontaneous sex is a thing of the past ... now it's more a quickie whenever I can (and with every conceivable contraception as I ain't going back for another kid!!). I have to watch what I drink and eat as it affects my milk and therefore affects the newbie. And sleep, well, last night was a fairly typical night for me .. I fell asleep on the couch around 11, woke up at midnight, fed until nearly 1am, back up at 2.30, fed til 3ish, then up at quarter to 5, fed til 5.30ish so decided what was the point in going back to sleep as the next kid would be up soon and if I wanted any chance of being showered for the day I had better do it now.

So it's 6.30am, I am showered and drinking coffee. It's been another hard night with barely any sleep ...

But I wouldn't trade my job for any other. Because as much as my ferals drive me insane they are the light of my life. And how special is it to look at something that you have created, that has grown inside you, that you have nurtured and watch grow.

Just don't tell me that I don't work!!

5 Teaser facts about me

2008-04-12T19:00:00.000-07:00

As part of my quest to write my '100 Random Facts' I thought I would write a quick list of 5 .. kinda like a teaser!

1. I have 3 tattoos. A four leaf clover on my back, a little yin yang with a flower incorporated in it that I designed myself on my left thigh and a totally stunning butterfly on the small of my back. I am in the process of adding two more, one of which will be another of my own designs.

2. I like to drink, but I drink for pleasure not to get smashed ... okay, well sometimes I drink to get smashed! I often drink to dull the pain of the ferals! My all time favourite drink is Vintage Veuve Cliquot Champagne. The most expensive drink I have had is Penfolds Grange (1996) followed by Dom Perignon. I love Leeuwin Estate Chardonnay and a number of different reislings including but not limited to: Howard Park, Pikes, Leeuwin Estate and Castle Rock. I have spent countless hours in the wineries of Margaret River and the Great Southern, the Pyrenees region in Victoria and the Yarra Valley. Would love to travel Italy to discover it's wines (and food), France for it's champagne and red wines, New Zealand for it's Sauvignon Blanc and Santa Barbara in California because I loved the film Sideways (good reasoning huh?).

3. My mum is a red headed, German born, highly strung perfectionist. My dad is UK born with a terribly dry sense of humour, a passion for travel and doing things with his hands. Both are very opinionated but somewhat pessimistic (in my opinion!!). I am a blend of the two of them, taking after my dad more. I have a high level of sarcasm, quite a temper (at times), an extreme need to travel and a bit of a perfectionist streak. However I am an optimist and believe my glass is always half full. If you're on the bottom rung, the only way is up.

4. I used to sing, play piano and even dabbled with the guitar. My brother had a band and I used to mess about with them whilst they jammed. I wrote songs for them which were recorded as well. I would love to continue singing but don't have the time to take lessons. So I sing to myself constantly. I would like to point out that I RULE at Singstar ... no one comes close .... :P

And 5. My ferals drive me nuts, are hard work, make me reach for the alcohol every night and reduce me to tears on an almost daily basis, but I would throw myself under a bus to protect them and would rather die than let anything happen to them. As proof of this, (small fact but true) even though I am terrified of spiders I have squished them with my bare hands to stop them getting to my kids. And I always will.

OK I have a number 6. I am in the preparation stages of writing my first book. :D

Hope you enjoyed a little insight into me!

My Tweet Cloud

2008-04-09T21:49:00.001-07:00

My thoughts on last nights episode of Underbelly

2008-04-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

I am loving the series 'Underbelly' screening now around Australia (excluding Victoria). Based on the gangland murders that happened in Melbourne between roughly 1995-2004. It makes for absolutely compelling viewing and whilst no doubt fictionalized to a huge amount gives an insight into a world that very few of us can imagine.

Last nights episode was centered on the murder of Jason Moran, which is the one that I personally remember the most as it is the one that disturbed me the most. Jason Moran was shot in his car, with his kids witnessing the whole event. The shooting occurred just after a footy session in broad daylight with plenty of other innocent children witness to the brutal killing. It saddened me then as it does now to think of those poor kids.

It did however prompt to trains of thought in me. The first: obviously most if not all the people involved in these gang wars are just sick minded individuals with no thought of the consequences of their actions. You got a problem with someone, fine, deal with it with them. Don't bring in people who don't deserve to be brought in. Particularly kids. Fuck that. The second train of thought I had was this: these kids witnessed their dad being killed ... what happens when they grow up? Will retribution be on the cards? The whole 'gangland war' began after one murder prompted a 'payback'. It's a vicious cycle that may never end. Sad to think really.

Anyway, it's 5:30 AM .. I need coffee but don't want to boil the kettle for fear I will wake a child. And I don't want that! I am working on a '100 random things about me blog' that will probably be only interesting to me, but then again, I like to read them about other people, so maybe it's something to look forward to!!

Leaving WA :(

2008-04-05T07:19:00.000-07:00

So we are moving to the country. This has prompted me to write about the things I will miss about Perth and in particular my home suburb.

We have been here almost 11 years. In this time I have made some unbelievable friends and had most of the best moments of my life. Not surprising really when you consider I was only 20 when we crossed the Nullabor from Victoria. I basically did all my real growing up here.

When we first got here we lived in Fremantle. Freo is great for tourists, but not so good for residents, in my opinion. It’s kinda sucky when there are 7000 people at your local shop buying film, batteries and souvenir t-shirts when you just want a loaf of bread. Also kinda sucky to work in Freo .. quite a bit of trouble went on downtown and I hated working late nights because the walk back to my car was always fraught with danger! I saw many interesting things out the front of the shop I worked in back then. I saw a guy stop his car and chuck his girlfriend and baby out onto the pavement then speed off while she yelled obscenities at him whilst her poor little girl sat in the middle of the road screaming. I saw teenage girls wondering around endlessly covered in silver paint high as kites with nothing else to do than beg for money to buy more paint to sniff. Saw countless homeless people asleep in the middle of the path. People getting beaten up. I was constantly hounded for cigarettes. I was so happy the day I finished working down there in Freo.

Then I moved on to work with hubby in Cottesloe. Much nicer area to work in I can tell you. It’s beachside locale made it a mecca for the rich and good looking which meant come summer time it turned into a major perv fest! The car park was always full of Mercs and BMWs, Porches, Jags and Astons. On a Sunday the odd Ferrari or Lambo would be out for its weekly airing. Of course, a helluva lot of rich people are just plain assholes, so I dealt with all that shit too.

In 2005 we moved from Freo to Claremont. I have to say that that was a fantastic move. Claremont is literally minutes from everything. Five minutes from the beach. Two minutes from the river. About seven minutes from Subiaco. Ten minutes from the CBD. We moved into a house here and have loved the area ever since.

Here’s what I love the most about Claremont:

David Jones is a ten minute walk away. As is Mecca Cosmetica. As is Country Road. And my favourite shop for bags, Morrison. The eyebrow king Matt Yuko is there. And a myriad of other shops I frequent regularly.

Cottesloe is a 5 minute drive away (30 in school traffic though!!!). And in Cottesloe there is Hobbs (for shoes), Stiller (clothes) and Leaf (for their Iced Moroccan Mint Tea). Summaglo for their unbelievable spray tan. Viddlers (which is a different name now, methinks) for Havaianas and Rip Curl, Quiksilver and Billabong.

For the kids, Claremont and Cottesloe both have Oblong, a long time favourite of mine. Plus in Claremont, the Early Learning Centre and in Cottesloe, Windmill.

Don’t even get me started on Subiaco, which is five minutes in the other direction! There is another Hobbs ... and Lisa Ho ... BellaBeWear and Hidden Lace (for lingerie). Linneys (jewellery) and my tattoo parlour and Strip Waxing.

As you can see, I am fully catered for in a five minute radius.

When we move to the country I will have nothing like this within this distance. Fortunately Melbourne is only an hour and a half away, so I will be able to frequent it enough to satisfy my shopping addiction. But in my new hometown itself? Let me enlighten you. There is a Target Country. And I think a surf shop (no idea why, the closest surf is 2 hours away!). My best friend owns a clothing shop (clothes too ‘old’ for me but). I believe there is a funkier clothes shop up one end of town but outrageously pricey! There’s a day spa kinda place run by a girl who was about 4 when I was in high school. And not much else worth mentioning ...

Now as you can see (!!), I am going to suffer dramatically in that department!

On a more personal note, in our 11 years as residents of WA, I have made some of the best friends of my entire life. Girls that I have shared so much with. My fellow MILFs (which is how I like to refer to ourselves!). There is a group of us who met after the birth of our first children almost 4 years ago. There are nine of us in this group, and we still meet every week for a catch up. Three of these girls have become a massive part of my life. Such a big part that I don’t like to talk about leaving WA too much as it makes me too upset. These girls have been there for me through so much. We have all cried together, laughed together and had second children together. I had my third bub, and one of the girls is pregnant with her third, who I will miss the birth of as I will have moved east prior to it’s arrival. This is truly disappointing, however I am already planning a trip back to Perth so I can meet her new arrival!

WA is such a special place to me also because our 3 children were born here. They are little West Aussies and always will be. Perth is where I basically grew up. Where I ‘evolved’. I consider myself more West Australian than Victorian (though the hardcore Westies will dispute this!!) and I consider this proudly! WA is where we became successful . WA is home to the most perfect weather. WA is home to Broome, one of my all time favourite places to be. In fact, Cable Beach is my favourite beach ever!! The red sand of far north WA is so beautiful and so etched into my memory.

On the flip side however, Victoria is home to our best friends. Our children’s god(less) parents (godless as neither of us believe in god and guardian sounds so ... erg) live there and our god(less) kids are there. My best friend from high school and her family (twin boys!!) live there. Hubby’s other best mate is there. Plus there are a heap of other friends we grew up with all around the corner. We have bought a great house on a massive block of land in the best street in town. We have the means to renovate this house to be THE house of our dreams. We have 2.5 acres of land with 200 vines (hooo! grapes for vino!!). When we have finished with our renovations it will be one of the best looking houses ever! And I am so excited by this. To get the same thing here in Perth, in the best street in town, would have set us back MILLIONS of dollars! This way, in Central Vic, we can have the land, the house of our dreams, and the Porsche we have always wanted!! :D

So it’s a tough moment in my life. On the one hand so excited to be going back to my roots and bringing my kids up safely in the country with beautiful clean air, and close friends and family nearby. On the other hand, I am giving away the city of my dreams, with some of the best girls I have ever had the extreme good fortune to meet, not to mention the easily accessible amenities ...

There are gonna be tears shed soon ... many many tears. Of sadness and of joy.

My whole life changes today

2008-03-29T15:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, that's possibly a little dramatic, but it's true to a very large point. Today is our last day as self employed business owners. The shops we have owned for almost 8 years, that we have literally sweated in to make successful have been sold and hubby wears his uniform today for the last time.
Tomorrow we begin a new chapter in our lives. Both hubby and I will be classified as unemployed, which neither of us have ever been in out entire lives. Luckily for us we don't have to join the queue at Centrelink or else I would also be lining up at a psychiatrists for a bit of mental health support!
Our friends and families keep asking us what we are going to do next, and frankly, we have no intention of telling them our ideas. Hubby has been in the industry for 15 years and needs a change. Crap, he has been working in the same shop for nearly 11 years! So we will go wherever we go and no doubt hubby will be successful at whatever it is he tackles next as I have never known him to fail at anything.
I am blogging about this for mostly nostalgic reasons. Back in 1997 hubby and I packed up, sold our house and put all our belongings into storage, hooked up a caravan and decided to travel around this gorgeous country of ours. Being eastern staters we had both been up and down the east coast numerous times so we decided to head west and see what was out there. We got into Perth about a month after we left Victoria and hubby promptly found a job. That very first job he took, is the one he is finishing up today! A lot has happened though in those 11 years, least of which was our purchase of that shop.
Our interest began in it in 2000. That's when I went to work with hubby. And boy did he put me to work! We worked 13 hour days (at least) and every Saturday and Sunday for 3 years. It was the hardest job I had ever had. Ironically everyone warned us not to work together as it would ruin our marriage (!!). Then came the kids and the growth of our businesses as well. In 2004 we opened our second shop which we built from the ground up. It was an exciting time. By 2007 we had 3 shops with about 50 employees. This is when we started to tire of the business. Long days, no holidays, a business partner that we hated and no scope to do things the way we wanted, plus 90% of our employees were crack heads. It was time to make some big decisions. Firstly we sold one of the shops. This helped for a while, but the biggest bane of our business lives was our partner. He wouldn't let us grow. Stuck in the eighties, he didn't believe in spending money to make money, and being a silent (funny term that) partner he bitched and moaned constantly yet never lifted a finger to help. It was time for drastic measures.
So we got about as drastic as you could. Under a veil of secrecy we flew to Victoria and bought a house. Then we worked out the christmas and new year periods. Then we dropped the bombshell. It was over. We were selling our share.
Coming to that decision was very hard for us. To give up a very comfortable income and to move thousands of kilometres away from our home was not a decision we took lightly. As you can well imagine. But for piece of mind and for our kids well being, we made the decision to give it all up.
Today is a sad day for me. It is the end of a big part of my life. It is the end of a lot of dreams that we had but the beginning of bigger and better dreams. Hopefully this change will enable hubby to do the things he has always wanted to do. I have never been prouder of him than I am at this moment. It takes a strong man to give up a steady income to follow your dreams and to make that leap of faith in yourself.
So, here we go. It all changes tomorrow.

Twitter

2008-03-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

During my recent stay in hospital following the birth of number 3, I had very little to do. Unfortunately for me I also had limited internet access. I took my Blackberry into hospital, but aside from phone calls, email and Twitter, I couldn’t really do anything else on it. So I had to rely on my brain, and a pen and paper (how 90’s). I did a lot of thinking about all sorts of things not least of which was thinking about my relatively recent transformation from technophobe to tech lover.

I knew I was starting to rely on the net a long time ago. I do everything online. But it wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago that it dawned on me that I was really EXCITED about technology. When I bought my hubby a Macbook Air and it sat in it’s box for HOURS while I waited and waited for him to open it and he was totally unfazed by it all. In the end I couldn’t stand it anymore and I had to open the box myself!! He was disappointed that I opened it but I mean c’mon, it was pure torture looking at that beautiful black box (how is it that Apple can make a piece of equipment look so sexy?) just sitting there on the bench!

But I digress. I wanted to share my thoughts on Twitter. It was in hospital that I got on to thinking about what Twitter might actually mean to different people. For me, it’s an easy one to explain. It’s an online mini journal. Somewhere I can place a thought. If someone else reads that thought and is interested by it then I am happy. If no one reads it at all I am still happy as I have recorded whatever it was I was thinking at that moment, and I can access it another time should I wish to. It was also important to me whilst I was in hospital as there were nights I was up with the newbie and bored silly, so to read what people were tweeting in the middle of the night was more often than not entertainingly funny! I also love the debates that often occur on Twitter. The whole 140 characters make for very interesting and succinct conversations. Unfortunately for me, my brain has moved from being placenta brain to baby-breast feeding brain, so I am not at all confident enough to join these debates just yet (I will though! Particularly want to get in on the religious debates that occur!)!!

So back to what I observed on Twitter. I am sure this is not news to anyone reading this, I just wanted to record my own thoughts on Twitter. If it is news to you, great!

Obviously Twitter is a social network. Easy. Someone tweeted one day that it was easier to have online friends than real life friends. I agree to a certain point, though nothing beats actual human interaction (I’m old school like that). Having said that though, I have made some pretty good friends online, although I have never actually met them.

I also get news from Twitter. I love it when people tweet links to interesting and often obscure items of news. I love it when news breaks on Twitter. I love it when people post the funny stuff. I loved it when I first saw Flight of the Conchords doing ‘Business Time’ ... that is one link I view over and over and over.

A lot of people use Twitter for work purposes, tweeting links to their sites and blogs. Self promotion is rife on Twitter, as it is in many places on the net, and why not? So long as you don’t mind potentially millions of people stalking you from all over the world!!

Since I joined Twitter, I have honestly laughed every day at one Tweet or another. One person that I follow in particular makes me laugh constantly (he was the provider of the ‘Business Time’ link) and Twitter would be a dull place without him.

I also love it when (and this happened whilst I was in hospital) late at night there will be someone somewhere who may have had a few too many to drink and feels the compulsion to tweet whilst out and about. This makes for hilarious reading (and no doubt a serious case of the d’ohs the next day for said Tweeter!)!!

A lot of people that I follow are extremely tech savvy whilst I am not. This is one of the positives of Twitter in my opinion. For me, it has given me an insight to the tech world, with links to tech blogs and discussions about various new pieces of technology. What surprises me though is the tech savvy people that follow me while I tweet about new babies, thigh high boots and my recent purchases of lingerie or clothes with the odd car or new laptop thrown in! It is this diversity that makes Twitter so appealing to me.

So there you have it. This is why I am one of the many people addicted to Twitter and tweeting various bits of often useless information every day. If you didn’t come to view this page via my tweet about this blog, then create a Twitter account and check out what all the fuss is about. Maybe it’s not for you, but then again, that’s exactly what I first thought.

Me and my girl

2008-03-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

Nine days old ... finally stopped being camera shy so I could put up a pic ... she's so adorable :D

I haz new baby!

2008-03-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Well, the day finally arrived and last Tuesday the 11th March, I gave birth to a gorgeous healthy 8lb 12.5oz baby girl!
We had a relatively fuss free birth. Being an elective ceasarean, I knew the date Smirnoff would arrive, and as we were first on the schedule, we knew roughly what time she would arrive too! The worst part of a c section (in my opinion and I have had 3 now) is the epidural! That needle would make a big boofy grown man cry! It's about a foot long and has to go into a tiny tiny space in your spine. If you move whilst they are doing it, and they fuck up, you could wind up paralysed. Just what you want to know. I always end up a blibbering mess. It is truly the most scary and harrowing moment(s) I have ever experienced.
The first epidural I had was scary, but I was doing ok, until my anaesthetist (who kept telling jokes making me laugh, then saying, remember to hold still, ok) said 'oh shit'. Oh shit what?? Turns out he stabbed his own finger, which resulted in extra blood tests (to confirm my purity *chuckle*). Great start. The second involved a different anaesthetist who insisted on being rough (funnily enough he was a very funny man just not real gentle) and pushed that big fucking needle so hard into my spine I thought I had been horse kicked. My most recent doctor was extraordinary. He told me that he might have some trouble getting the epidural into my spine as I have a really small epidural site. I took many deep breaths, tears streaming down my face. I was petrified. Absolutely petrified. Hubby held my hand ... I bawled. Then my new hero touched my shoulder, walked around to stand in front of me and said 'it's all over. It's in. It was easy.' I had not felt a thing. He was a true god. From there the rest of the birth was easy. I lay there whilst they opened me up and brought my beautiful baby girl out into the world!
My biggest baby yet (almost a pound bigger than Babygirl) with a fine covering of dark hair!! I mention this as the first two are fair (as are hubby and I) so the eyebrow was raised at the dark locks until looking at her face and the obvious undeniable likeness to her brother and sister! Just one of many funny moments that have occurred during the births of my 3 kids. Also would like to point out that one of the midwives got an obvious thing for hubby early on and kept saying what a catch I had as he looked so good in his scrubs!! Kudos hubby for looking the part!!
So, now I sit here having only just now found the time to actually write something, happy and content at having had my last baby. My family is complete.

Friday morning storm

2008-03-06T14:19:00.000-08:00

Haven't been blogging much lately, as I told myself when I started this that I would try to be humorous and entertaining and that's just not how I have been feeling of late! But I just wanted to write a quickie this morning as we are currently having a little bit of a storm here in Perth, and as the sun is just rising, the sky was the most amazing colour! In the backyard the trees were lit up like they were on fire! It was truly beautiful!!
This is exactly the kind of day weather wise I would like it to be when Smirnoff arrives, but the forecast for that day looks like it's just going to be HOT. For a change ......
Hopefully I will get a chance to write something intelligible and funny in the next few days before I go to hospital :D

Any day now ...

2008-03-04T15:18:00.001-08:00

In fact, I know which day and it isn't very far away .. but why would I want to ruin that surprise!
So thought I would add this photo in case there is no other chance left to post one ... ;)
I am ready. I am looking forward to a flatter belly again. It's so hard to bend over!! And for those of you who have never felt a pregnant belly before, let me just tell you that it is ROCK HARD .. so that may give you an idea of how hard it is to bend!!
Stay tuned .. it won't be long now .....

Black Knee High Boots

2008-02-29T00:29:00.000-08:00

I often describe myself as a summer lover, and I am. I do love summer. I love havaianas and swimming and sunny days, but I have to say that lately I have been really hating it. And it occurred to me today that it is not just because I am pregnant, but also because I love jeans and boots more than any other items of apparel in the world! And when it is a thousand degrees, jeans and boots do not work very well.

Today I bought a fantastic pair of knee high boots. It certainly wasn't boot buying weather (it's been 33C today) but I was compelled to do it. They were boots. Black. And knee high. Irresistible really. Yet I am wondering now just how long it will be before I can actually wear them! Nevermind. I am moving to Victoria .. will probably be able to wear them endlessly!!

Too Hot, Too Pregnant

2008-02-27T22:45:00.000-08:00

It is far too hot to be pregnant. Most people around Perth at the moment are complaining about the heat (it is currently 41C ... farking HOT) and they're not about to give birth to a baby the size of an elephant. I had to go to the bank to do a simple transfer of money today and I waited til I had a babysitter at home, then went out on my own in the heat to the bank. When I got there, the bastards told me that the transfer I wanted to do had to be done before 2PM (it was 3.30)! I said, so there is no way I can do this transfer before Monday? Oh yes, she said ... if you come back tomorrow before 2PM. I mean seriously!! How can they not do the transfer NOW and send it or whatever tomorrow?? Are we not in the age of electronics?? So angry! So damn hot and too farking pregnant!

OKAY .. that's my rant, and I do feel better now :)

Onto more exciting things. On Monday we take possession of our new house. How absolutely exciting! The only downer is that it is in Victoria and I am in WA. Which means that I have to have someone else collect my keys for me and walk around my new house without me there. Bummer. Oh well, hopefully the renovations we do won't take too long to be completed and we can move in .. and start a totally different life!! Scary.

We plan to move mid year, which means winter. We will be moving from the warm climes of Perth to the freezing cold of central Victoria ... so I am sure I will be complaining about that when the time comes! But right now I can promise you, I would give a LOT to be experiencing a big chill!

Also is fantastically apparent that Germany does NOT experience the Summers that Perth does! This is evident in the R32's air conditioning. Seriously .. not efficient enough for here! Although, again, I am sure come winter I will be very appreciative of the HEATED seats!! Meanwhile the Toyota Prado we have (yes, my 'family' car) is obviously manufactured in a hot climate, as it's air conditioning will freeze you in a matter of seconds! Deluxe!

Ah the weather. It is so true that you could spend hours discussing it!!

Also today, the girls in my mums group starting placing bets on date, weight and sex of the new bub, Smirnoff. Such a laugh! So far there is someone who has correctly identified both the sex AND the date ... the weight of course will remain to be seen. I have informed the punters that the prize is a period of no less than 4 hours straight babysitting all THREE of my children!! Strangely, no one is keen to win the competition .........

Okay, I have used far too many big words for my hot baby-placenta brain to cope with! Til next time .... :D

It's time!

2008-02-24T21:40:00.000-08:00

Oh man, I cannot stop looking at the Cleo Bachelors of the Year! I mean, I know I am a perve .. self confessed! I LOVE to look, but for some reason some of these guys are just too hot! And I keep looking at the BAD boys ... the ones with smirks on their faces (I have been told I smirk a lot, maybe that's why). I have to blame the hormones in my body this time. I mean, I have also been cleaning. I know, CLEANING. Freaky. Time to have a baby I think.

Massive life change ahead!!

2008-02-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

So a lot of changes are happening for me in the next five or six weeks. Let's see .. in just over a week we settle on our new house!! Unfortunately we won't be there when this exciting event happens as the house is interstate and we will be too busy here because in just over TWO weeks Smirnoff will magically appear (I know this because I am having a caesarian)! Then about 3 weeks after Smirnoff enters the world, Hubby will be unemployed as we will have (fingers crossed of course) sold our businesses!! Talk about a lot of change in a very short period! And THEN .. we start renovating the new house ready for us to move into hopefully by mid year! My brain actually hurts when I think of all the things I have to do by then, let alone that I have to do them with THREE kids under FOUR hanging around. I am going to be very preoccupied methinks :D

Anyway, exciting times ahead .. can't wait to get back to the country and have space to run around. Can't wait to look at the stars every night and see them shining brightly. Can't wait to be in the clean air. Can't wait to get the kids a puppy .. I don't think I have ever looked forward to something this much.

Better!

2008-02-21T15:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, so last night I didn't go to sleep until after midnight. Which surprised me because even though I am practically always uncomfortable at the moment, I still generally manage to fall asleep straight away! Anyway, my point is, that I only had 6 hours sleep (I usually have about 7.5) and this morning I have woken up feeling like a new person and entirely un-pregnant!! Mind you, I did break one of my 'green' rules and had a longer than normal shower. And by longer, I mean like 11 minutes LONGER than usual. But it was pure heaven to finally be having a hot shower after months of ice cold ones. Also, Smirnoff will be a Pisces so I thought I would indulge the bub in a little water on belly action! So, so far I am off to a good start to my day! It is 8.20am, and I have a fair bit to do today which will end with not only the excitement of picking up the NEW CAR .. *GRIN* .. but also with our usual Friday night on Cott beach for dinner .. complete with good looking waiters!!

36 weeks and counting ...

2008-02-20T20:58:00.001-08:00

Well, I wanted to add these pictures for my own reference for the future. I just took these. I am 36 and a bit weeks pregnant. In around 3 weeks time I will have a new baby. I cannot imagine where another 3 weeks growth is gonna go, but there's not much I can do about it!!

I don't look like I'm even pregnant at all until I stand up!! I will say this though, a guy (granted he was very young) asked me yesterday if I was 'expecting' .. I told him that I had just eaten a rather large lunch!!

She who must be obeyed wins (as usual)

2008-02-20T19:06:00.000-08:00

Two things happened yesterday that I wanted to share with you here. One is making me really angry and I am not entirely sure I can talk about it right now. Being 36 weeks pregnant is not a good time to voluntarily contribute to raising my blood pressure! The other is that we FINALLY bought a new car! Yes, after roughly 6 weeks of test driving nearly every make and model known to man (OK so I exaggerate a little) we finally settled and agreed on a car and bought one. We pick it up tomorrow night! Pretty excited about that. We bought a car totally different to any we had driven, which came as quite a shock to us both. Hubby wanted performance, I wanted European. The car that came the closest to that was the new Mercedes C Class (Wheels Car of the Year) but at around $125K (!!!) we were finding it VERY difficult to justify, hence why we stalled for so long. The other car we liked was the HSV GTS at around $85K, but the thought of dropping $100 of fuel into it every week was paining hubby quite significantly. So in the previous week, Hubby had been researching the new VW Passat R36 (not yet released) so we decided to visit Volkswagen and check out a Passat to get a 'feel' for it. Whilst there, Hubby pointed out the Golf R32. "Honey, it's a hatch" I said. "And you know that I will forever have to hang shit on you if you buy a hatch.." But I liked it, I liked it a lot .. it was quite a gorgeous little car. Anyway, we drove the Passat and I know it wasn't the R36 but it was definately lacking something. It reminded me of the Audi A4 .. kinda like an old person's car (no disrespect of course .. hehe). Then we took out the R32.

The first thing of note was the sound it made. A real grunt, a rally sound. It was fantastic! The model we drove also had DSG transmission complete with paddles for gear changing on the steering wheel! We took the car into an estate and hubby opened her up. It was, in a word, sweet! The acceleration was awesome! The feel of the car was fantastic! The sound was pure magic! All from the tiniest car we had driven!! We took the car back to the showroom and got out to speak to the dealer. Before we could say anything he said "you understand that because this is a sports car there is a 6 month wait for one." SIX MONTHS?!?! Excuse me but you've got to be fucking joking!! Mercedes could HAND BUILD a car in less than four months! Six months my ass! We'll be off then ...

I was disappointed. Most fun car we had driven and I could see us tearing up the dirt road to our new house in it (make good friends with our new neighbours ...). But six months .. no way were we waiting six months.

Then I remembered another VW dealer about 15 minutes drive away. "Let's check them out", I said. "See if they have a car in stock and if it REALLY does take six months to get one."

We arrived. We talked to the salespeople. It was obvious immediately that they knew a helluva lot more than the last place we were at. "Do you have R32's in stock?" we asked. "We do."

So after more talk on the car, a more thorough run down of the features, and more insane grinning from my hubby (who was imagining the fun he was gonna have in the car) he said to our guy .. "Can I have this one?" .... and that is what happened ... we will be in possesion of our gorgeous deep blue, dark tinted, specced out R32 tomorrow night. And I am driving it home.

PS On another note, the R32 was also the cheapest car we drove! Never before have I chosen the cheapest option. I mean that .. never. And it has everything we wanted on a car ... under $70K. Ah, happy days ahead :D

It pays to shop around!!

2008-02-16T17:00:00.000-08:00

So I went into the city on Friday morning and discovered a gorgeous pair of Manolo Blahniks in Myer. Only trouble was, at $1325 I couldn't really justify it.

So I came home and decided to check the same pair out on Neiman Marcus. Here is what I discovered ... with the current exchange rate, I could actually buy the Manolos, a pair of 7 for all Mankind jeans, and a La Perla bra and g string all for about the same price including shipping costs!

So I learnt a valuable lesson today ...

I LOVE ONLINE SHOPPING!!!

Proud Day

2008-02-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

Every now and then, actually, all the bloody time, my kids do things that amaze me. This morning, Sprat has been writing not only his name, but that of his best friend as well. The amazing thing about this is that Sprat is only 3 and a half. I am beyond proud at this moment. This has been a truly goose bump inducing moment in my life. I always knew that the time would go so quickly, but it seems like only yesterday we were watching Sprat enter this world, and now here he is writing his name and our third bub is about to enter the world .. The funniest thing about this all is that I feel like a younger person today than I did 3 years ago. My outlook on not only my life, but the lives of my kids has changed profoundly. I know I am a better mother today than I have ever been. And I know that I have never felt prouder than I do right now.

Happy Valentines Day!

2008-02-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

It's Valentines Day again, and people around Australia are complaining that it's another commercial holiday, we spend too much money, blah blah blah. But I disagree. I love Valentines Day. It is an opportunity to show the person you love that you appreciate them. Yes, I know you can do this any ol' day, but why not have a day celebrating it? Hubby and I have always made Valentines Day something special and we've been married 11 years so it certainly hasn't been worthless has it! Unfortunately, since he works stupid hours and leaves before I even get up, we don't do Valentines Day until he gets home, but it gives me something to look forward to!! I was hoping that this year he would outdo himself and buy me a Mercedes, but so far, no luck LOL ... although there's a lot of hours in the day to go yet!! And yes I did buy him something, something very symbolic and romantic which I can't say in case he reads this before he receives it! In fact I was SO organized this year, I bought his present a couple of weeks ago :D

Anyway, just a quickie to say that I celebrate Valentines every year and love it. And why not? It's good to be loved!

Waiting for Smirnoff

2008-02-09T23:08:00.000-08:00

So it is early February, and I have a little over 4 weeks to go until Smirnoff arrives. I am watching my belly grow each day it seems and I am excited to get to meet this little person growing inside me. There is something awesome about not knowing what my baby will look like, although with each pregnancy I have hoped that they would be cute bubs and not little gorillas!!

I remember when Sprat was born and we were lucky enough to have a cute little boy (a little yellow from jaundice but cute .. he looked like he had just come from a holiday in Broome, hehe). At the same time there was another baby in the nursery who the midwives had nicknamed Big John! He was an ENORMOUS baby with a ton of black hair and not very easy on the eye! Now of course all mums love their kids regardless, I am not disputing this, but I know I am not alone when I say that I hope my babies are cuties!!

Anyway, along the term of my pregnancy I have been lucky enough to have regular scans of my bub. My ob/gyn has his own sonograph machine so he performs scans as part of my regular check ups. His machine also takes 3D images of the baby, so I actually have a pretty specific picture of what my baby will look like (to a degree of course). My last scan revealed chubby little cheeks and arms and a cute button nose .. awww! As the baby grows the 3D scans look even more awesome and on Monday I will have my next check up which should yield some great shots (providing Smirnoff is co-operating and faces the camera!).

So I am waiting with a fair bit of excitement right now. Smirnoff moves with more force every day (sometimes enough to hurt me!!) and makes it increasingly difficult to sleep and go for longer than an hour between toilet stops! I have constant late night indigestion which means eating copious amounts of Rennie tablets and sleeping almost upright! I long to sleep on my tummy again and wear my non maternity jeans once more.

However, I also know that this will more than likely be my last pregnancy so I am savouring each moment that Smirnoff is inside me as it truly is a miracle to have a person growing inside of you.

So, in 4 weeks time, it will be back to interrupted sleep, and an extremely dependent baby. Tiny growsuits and little bitty nappies. Snuggle wraps and tiny tiny fingers and toes. And all too soon, the baby stage will be over and I will have another little personality marching around the house!

Music and Lyrics

2008-02-02T17:34:00.000-08:00

Music has always played such a huge part in my life. I have blogged about this in particular reference to Bon Jovi, but it is a much broader occurrence than that. There are many many songs that feel as though they have been written just for me and for my experiences. I am sure that it is the same for many people the world over. For me, this is one of the reasons that I dig bands like Bon Jovi so much .. I like the story telling aspect of their music.

Each and every moment of major significance of my life has a song attached to it. When Sprat was born, he would often only settle to Jet singing 'Are you gonna be my girl?' ... Babygirl spent a long time in the Neo Natal ward when she was born on oxygen and the Bob Evans song 'Don't you think it's time' brings it all back to me, every second watching her in her cot, oxygen being breathed into her through a machine, tubes in her nose to feed her .. hell it brings tears to my eyes even now just thinking about it and hearing the song in the background.

And isn't it for this reason that we pick a song to dance to when we are married? The first dance as husband and wife and the song you choose is important for that remembering aspect later in life.

Music is a release from the every day too. It takes you away, allows you to dream and imagine things you may not ever have the chance to experience. Songs can describe your euphoria and your pain, reduce you to tears, turn you on or just make you laugh. I just cannot imagine a day without music and lyrics in my life.

When I was younger my brother and his friends had a band and I used to attempt to sing with them sometimes and it was just pure fucking magic to be able to do that. I even penned a few songs, one of which my brother recorded (he wrote the music, I wrote the lyrics) and to hear that played through my CD player was awesome. I penned many more, but they never saw the light of day, my insecurities about my writing ability always stopped me from showing anyone, even though writing was my best subject.

I know how it must feel for a writer to have their work appreciated and acknowledged, which is why I suppose I blog in part. I just wish I could get past the whole insecure phase and promote myself sometimes!!

So, I will head back into my past, and look to my future and think about the present and listen to my CDs and browse through iTunes and find the songs that bring back all my memories. The happy ones and the sad ones, the ones that made me laugh and the ones that helped me overcome my anger. And I will thank the people who wrote them.

2008-02-02T14:23:00.000-08:00

There are so many things that I want to blog about. Unfortunately most of them fall under too personal a category and therefore I am not willing to publish them!! The thing is though, is that this is really addictive and so so easy to do. To sit down and write about the stuff going through my head is doing me a world of good, to be honest. Now I understand why so many mums have blogs. I'm sure not many of them are doing this for the fame (I'm certainly not, I'm too sscared to even advertise that I have a blog! It's mentioned in some of my profiles but that's all I can manage! I would like to tweet when I have written a new post but can't bring myself to do it yet!), but I am positive they are all blogging for an outlet. An escape. Or a chance to use their brains in a similar function to what they used to be used for!

I have so many dreams and aspirations for my future. I am lucky to be almost giving birth to my third and most likely final baby, and I am only 31. In 4 years time, Smirnoff will be at kindy and I will have time to be me again ... and I will only be 35 (by the way, 30's are the new 20's). All this appeals to me. However, I am not going to leave it that long to start something new.

I have a few ideas, but no idea where to start. Which really sucks. I need to do more research this I am sure of, but I just don't know how to do it .. I suppose that's where google comes in handy really. Really must use it more ...

Anyway, there are things in the pipeline ... hopefully I might even be successful, make a bit of money out of it. I may finally have the career I have always wondered about ...

HSV GTS

2008-01-30T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Hubby and I decided that we would test drive a new car. It would be his new car, so he was after something a little sportier than average. Of course, a high end European sports car would be desirable, but that kind of money is really hard to justify, particularly when you have kids, who will no doubt just want to borrow the damn thing, which in turn will lead to endless nights of sleeplessness and anxiety over their welfare! So instead, Hubby trudged the internet and found a car that would rival the performance of a European sports car, for at least $100k LESS. Gotta be happy with that. Enter the HSV GTS. When our babysitter turned up, we headed into the city to HSV headquarters and our fun began.

Of course, regular readers will know how pregnant I am. Very. Undeniably. Ready to go. The salesman also realised this and so the first question he asked as we pulled out of the car yard was, "what kind of test drive do you want?"

Hubby tried to suppress his childish grin as M (the salesman) asked, 'performance or normal test?'

"Performance" was all hubby had to say. We went to some kinda back roads and M explained the test we would take ... "zero to 100, cornering at about 120 and braking whilst doing about 100-110 ..." M glanced at me, "will you be ok with that?" he asked. "Yeah, sure" I answered (also grinning like a freakin' idiot).

You see I fit into a strange category of women ... I LOVE fast cars. Powerful cars. Sexy cars. I want to wear a mini skirt and thigh high boots and step out of a sexy car after having pulled up from some astronomical speed!

The test began. This GTS can accelerate to 100 kph in just under 5 seconds. And it was proved to us! Fucking hot. Smoking hot. M then took a corner at 125 kph and the car was glued to the road. The he braked, hard, at about 105kph. We stopped on a dime. Awesome stuff. Damn!

Then it was hubby's turn to drive. We got onto the freeway and he let it go as much as he could. Unfortunately most WA drivers suck (right hand lane at 80ks) but he got it up to 125 in 4th gear, with shit loads of torque and 2 gears to spare!) easy! Nice smooth ass ride.

We returned to the yard and talked turkey. We learnt that if we ordered new we would get a BIGGER engine. Bigger. Hot damn!

We haven't decided if we will buy this car yet. But if we do, at least 2 things will occur. 1, hubby's age will decrease about 10 years and 2, I will be taking out a rather large life insurance policy on him!!

Shoe obsession

2008-01-28T19:45:00.000-08:00

It came to my attention a short while ago, that I may be influencing Babygirl (she is 15 months) to take up an obsession at too young an age. Babygirl is obsessed with shoes.

Yes, obsessed. Doesn't matter who they belong to our where she finds them. Way too big or too small, she MUST try them on!

Being summer here and hot as anything, havaianas are my shoe of choice (also for the comfort factor). And being the cheapest brand of shoes I buy, I have a lot of pairs of them (for those of you who don't know what they are, havaianas are thongs or flip flops), often left lying around in various spots around the house!

Babygirl finds them. She tries to put them on. Of course they don't fit, they are way too big and her toes are so tiny that a little bit of rubber wouldn't go between them. But she persists, and boy does she crack the shits when she can't walk in them!! She carries them around with her and wants to take them to bed with her. She holds shoes whilst I feed her, and builds things out of shoeboxes. She puts her favourite toys into shoeboxes and carries them around. She is as obsessed by shoes as I am.

We are moving in a few months, and I have a big walk in robe in my new bedroom, complete with a high shelf perfect for storing my shoes. My collection includes Louboutins, Manolos and Armani to name a few, and there is no way I am gonna let my daughter get her hands on those!!

Hubby has blamed me totally for this newfound obsession and I take responsibility (rather proudly I must say .. hehe)!!

2008-01-27T17:33:00.000-08:00

I want to write something here, but my mind is blank. I feel an empty void ... LOL. So instead I will just put in a picture of one of the main reasons why my mind is an empty void right now ...

This mask is only a toy and does not offer protection

2008-01-26T22:20:00.000-08:00

Found on a Superman mask that I gave Sprat yesterday.

Seriously.

Who on earth would think that they could put on a plastic mask and be Superman??

Everyone knows you need the cape and undies too.

A personal attack

2008-01-26T16:23:00.000-08:00

Well, yesterday was an interesting day on the bonjovi.com comments page for the Perth concert. So many people were bagging the crowd for not standing up and jumping around. It was funny, because I commented at one stage that surely I would have thought people would be too busy watching the band to worry about what other people were doing, as I was, and before I knew it, someone had posted a comment about my hubby and the fact that he WASN'T jumping around! I was absolutely gobsmacked that someone who I didn't know from a bar of soap could launch an attack on my hubby about the way he reacts to different situations. What a load of shit. I was so pissed off. But then again, it's not something I could actually do, and I don't know how other people can. I guess you just have to have a bitchy nature or be an absolute asshole to do it.

But you know what, as I told Hubby, 'hey I had a personal photographer, and I have the best pics ever, and I didn't have to watch the concert through a lense .. so who are the dickheads??'

But karma came and got this person, because as Perthites do, there was a rally of support telling this particular poster to buggar off back to Melbourne from whence they came and shut their mouth!! Ah ... and I didn't have to say a thing :D

More Lost Highway

2008-01-25T19:35:00.000-08:00

As you may be aware from reading previous posts of mine, I had a few extra tickets last night (hehe). Well I gave one of my besties 2 of them and she came along and had a damn fine time too. I was talking to her earlier and she was telling me that I made it up on the big screens a couple of times (I saw myself once, but I was too busy perving at Jon to be honest). In one shot apparently the camera came in over the top of us and zoomed in on my breasts. I am very proud of that!! LOL

Mission accomplished. :D

Lost Highway - Bon Jovi

2008-01-25T15:14:00.000-08:00

I'm am suffering from the best Bon Jovi hangover! What a fantastic show last night!

The day was so very hot, 37+C and I wondered how I was going to go being that hot and excited and wanting to jump around liked a lust filled crazy teen! The guys at our shop were having bets that I would go into labour (hospital was only a 15 minute walk away or so though LOL).

We got to Subiaco Oval in plenty of time and skulled heaps of water to try to keep hydrated (as it was still about 33C at 7.30pm). We made our way to our seats ... THE FRONT ROW.

I kept having to pinch myself. This really was a dream come true for me. I have never been front row at any concert before, let alone the one band I have remained faithful and loyal to for 17 years!

The support act (local band The Violet Flames) were really good, but it was clear that everyone wanted Bon Jovi to come out. I have to say though, that the flames drummer was really having a damn fantastic time!! Great to watch him!

Then it was time. I still couldn't believe I had made it to the front row. The security guards were keeping an eye on me as none of them wanted a labour either! One of them we struck up a little relationship with and he got me water during the show (awwww, so nice!! he was a local Perth boy).

Hugh, Tico, Dave and Richie came out onstage and then right in front of me was my idol, Jon Bon Jovi. Maybe 4 metres from me! I was a lust filled idiot at that second and why not! Damn has that man still got it!! One of the best toned bodies I have seen!! We then screamed and yelled our hearts out for the next 2 and a bit hours! I tried to jump around but couldn't really! 33 weeks pregnant is not the best thing to be at a Bon Jovi concert! Mr Security would look at me and motion for me to calm down and breathe! It was fantastic. Indescribable! Awesome! And so freakin' HOT!! They played the songs that I really wanted them to play, plus of course the ones you would expect. He played Runaway (which was just AWESOME), Blood on Blood, Born to be my Baby, Blaze of Glory .. then Summertime, Whole lot of Leavin' and I love this Town off the new album! Of course he played Prayer, and In these Arms was another highlight! What am I saying, the whole show was a damn highlight!! I couldn't stop smiling!! Meanwhile Smirnoff was being good and staying relatively calm in my belly even with my jumping around!

Richie sang I'll be there for you, which was fabulous (I am running out of adjectives!!).

All too soon though it was over ... the boys left the stage, the harsh light of normality was lit, and we stood around dazed ... Mr Security was over the other side of the stage but I saw him walking towards me .. Mr Fantastic Security had got Richie's playlist off the stage, complete with one of his guitar pics and proceeded to pass it to me over the fence!!!!!!!! I was stoked. Stoked beyond belief! What a way to end the best concert of my life!

We got home, so late, so tired, still pregnant and not a new mum, and I uploaded all the photos that my hubby had been ordered to take!! And boy do I have some damn fine shots!! Now to wait until they come back ... let's hope it's not another 11 years (or else I'm gonna rack up some miles flying around the world!!) ...

Bon Jovi (update 2)

2008-01-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the concert (HOOOO!!!)!!

And I am front row!!!

I am so excited!

A friend told me that one of our friends was hanging shit on me for loving Bon Jovi .. all I have to say to that is .. hello? This from a guy (supposedly a man) who drives a hatchback???

Muahahaha :D

Death

2008-01-23T13:44:00.000-08:00

Obviously we all know about the death of Heath Ledger. Being from Perth (his hometown) there is a lot of attention being focused on this particular news item.

A lot of what I read yesterday included people reacting somewhat angrily to the outpouring of grief towards his death, when there are millions of unknowns dying every day from poverty related causes.

I have thought about this and decided to give my opinion.

In the first instance, let's discuss Heath's death. Firstly, our society places a huge emphasis on fame. And for the most part, we all want to be famous. Look at the internet where there were so many people complaining about the information regarding his death, are all these people just twittering and blogging for fun or because they want someone to read it? Because they want the recognition? The fame? I know that I blog for myself, but also because I would like to think that someone else reads it and discusses it. This emphasis on fame is a worldwide phonomenon too. I have recently watched the Long Way Down and Long Way Round series about Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman's travels on motorcycles around the world. Even in the middle of Mongolia, where people live nomadically in tents made of cloth and eat testicle stew so as not to waste any part of an animal, Ewan was recognised for his part in movie making. So it is very true to say that fame is a VERY worldwide thing. So, in turn, this means it is newsworthy. So why do people grieve so deeply for someone they may never have met?

I will tell you what happens to me. I react to various things that all producers and/or directors will say is exactly what they are trying to achieve. If you play a montage of a person's life, complete with a sad song (one montage yesterday had a song playing that included the line "and the sun will set for you" .. fairly sad stuff) and images of said persons life, most people would be hard pressed not to get at least partially emotional over it. I do. It's marketing. It works (on me it works very well).

A lot of people that call in to radio stations so upset are young, and reacting to a grief they may never have had to deal with before. Playing sad songs and talking like we know these people as well as our closest friends only adds to the feelings of grief.

On the other hand, there are people in our everyday world who are suffering also. Who are lucky if they reach 28 because their regional mortality rate is 30. Whose children are dying because they cannot eat. Whose homes have been wiped out by a natural disaster. Whose civil wars rage out of control. To me, these people are not forgotten either. I do all I can as a person to try to help these people too. I sponsor a child in Mozambique, and have watched him grow over the last 5 years. Watched him start school, Watched his family learn to manage crops and grow food so that they can sustain themselves once World Vision leaves their region. When Bali was bombed, I sent my donation to Bali, not to the Australians affected. I knew that in Australia we would raise money beyond any one's imaginings, and our government would aid the victims, both of which happened, but I also knew that Bali would need all the help it could get to rebuild, so my money went there. After the Tsunami, I did the same thing, and sent my donations to the poorest areas, those that would need it the most.

Bottom line though, was that my grief for these people affected by such extreme tragedies is much greater, but natural unexpected disaster aside, it is not shocking. People are dying from poverty related causes every second, so we are almost, sadly, conditioned to it. It doesn't shock us anymore. Yet when it does shock (tsunami, acts of terrorism) we rally and help.

So yes, yesterday there was a lot of grief and emotion surrounding Heath's death. Here in Perth, being such a small town, nearly everyone would have a Heath story (even I do) so the outpouring was probably even greater. This doesn't mean it was more or less important, it just means it was news on that day. And we as human beings reacted to it.

Evolution

2008-01-20T13:52:00.000-08:00

I do not believe in christianity. At all. I have done far too much reading in the past on medieval europe to believe any of it. I studied the history of witchcraft at university. It was my favourite and best subject. I earned many A+'s in that subject! But that is not the topic of this blog. The topic is evolution.

I wholeheartedly believe we are descendants of apes. It just seems so obvious. We have to be. Have you ever looked into the eyes of a gorilla? If you haven't, go to a zoo, or climb a mountain in the jungle of Africa and find a gorilla and look into it's eyes. Then you will know what I am talking about.

However, there is just one thing, one little tiny detail that makes you think about all this religion vs evolution debate. I am pregnant. 32 weeks roughly. I have this little baby inside me that weighs roughly 4 pounds at the moment. It kicks me with the force of a horse regularly! Whilst watching TV last night, Smirnoff was having his/her daily workout and I lifted my top to watch my belly. Hubby and I couldn't stop laughing as we saw limbs and hips moving under my skin. It was at this point that hubby remarked, "hard to not believe in miracles isn't it?"

So that is my question ... I understand evolution (and I know that this IS evolution and scientific) but how can we NOT have miracles? Any one that has been pregnant will appreciate the true miracle that it is to grow another little human inside you. It's awesome. Such a beautiful thing. The best thing that can happen to you as a woman (aside from maybe what happens in order to get to that position *wink* LOL).

Music and memories

2008-01-19T03:29:00.000-08:00

Well, only 6 days to go until Bon Jovi are in Perth. The last time I saw them was in 1995. It was the These Days concert at Olympic Park, Melbourne. I remember being up in the stands and actually smoking my way through the concert! Can't imagine doing that now for 2 reasons .. one, I don't smoke anymore and two, no doubt it will be a smokefree event now!!

I can relate so many different aspects of my life to Bon Jovi. There is a song for every major memory I have from when I was only 14 and started listening to them. I remember my boyfriend way back then, he introduced me to Jovi. He used to wear this New Jersey t-shirt with a picture of Jon on the front. I used to love it when he wore it, which he knew, so he would wear it all the time for me (he got a lot more physical contact on those particular days LOL). The whole of the New Jersey album in fact reminds me of him. He was my first love (awwww ... lol).

The Keep the Faith tour was my first concert. It was 1992, I was 16, and me and 2 girlfriends went down to Melbourne by ourselves. It was a huge night for us as we all were completely obsessed with him! We had the best time, and I remember writing down the entire songlist the minute I got home so I could remember the concert forever! I still remember it .. it was awesome. I remember being able to see all Jon's tattoos in detail, that's how close we were!

This time though, I will be even closer! Front Row!! I have waited 17 years for this and I am as excited as I was when I was 16!

A lot of people will scoff at this, whether they are scoffing because they don't like Bon Jovi, or they just don't understand the association part of it, but music has been such a HUGE part of my life for such a long time, and if you name a Bon Jovi song, I will have a memory attached to it. The latest album, Lost Highway, already has been associated with a few moments in my life of late ...

I am also happy to be able to say that little Smirnoff will be able to say that her/his first concert was Bon Jovi ... at almost 33 weeks gestation! Rock On!!!

Parties

2008-01-17T14:13:00.000-08:00

Okay, so the world is obsessed with Corey. But I have to say, I have a feeling that I have been to much better parties than Corey could ever imagine. I thought I would share a couple with you.

It's not about the size of the party either. It's the quality of the shananigans that makes a great party.

I will start with my 17th birthday party. Not sure if my parents know about all the things that went on, but they don't know I have this blog, so might be best to leave it that way! I basically invited every 17 year old I knew. My brother invited all his mates (they were 20 year olds). At a stab, maybe we had 40 people. I lived in the country, so this was a good turnout for a party. And I lived 16ks out of town, so this was a HUGE turnout.

Before long, we were all hammered and rolling around. My parents have a 4 acre property so there were plenty of spots to get into trouble. We also had a caravan in the backyard which was often used for rendezvous with boys ;)

My then boyfriend and I had been on and off for a while. He wasn't exactly invited, but he walked 6 ks from his house to mine, so I didn't turn him away. We wound up in the caravan and just as it was about to get a little too steamy, my brother and his mates busted in (one of my girlfriends had spilt the beans) and, being overly protective grabbed my boyfriend off me and ruined the passion. Nice one bro.

Okay, so far this all sounds a little tame right, but let me tell you about what happened in the light of day. It appears that roughly 7 couples wound up having sex on various plots of ground around my parents house. To this day when I drive up that driveway, I find it difficult not to remember that that occured! My party was talked about for the next year as the shag fest party of the year! Not sure if that's the title I was going for at the time, but I got it, so may as well be happy with it!!

The next party involved much more alcohol, same large space of land, petrol, and matches. Not a good mix.

I was living in Perth but felt I needed to go home for a visit (parents live in country Victoria). It was my brother's birthday, so I decided that was a good time to go. Hubby couldn't make it, so I went alone.

My brother has a bonfire every year for his birthday. He and his friends are all muso's so it would be a piss up around a fire, playing guitar, having a sing. Tame good fun. Bro's best mate was a mechanic, so he would always bring the fuel to start the bonnie in a spectacular fashion. Each year they tried to outdo the last. The year I went, has never been topped.

When it came time to light the fire we were all hammered. And I should add, smoking cigarettes. My bro and his mate were off to one side huddled, laughing like 10 year olds (should I add I think it was my brother's 28th or so!!). I was oblivious to it all, drinking and having a smoke. A tennis ball was brought out. As was a large piece of bark, stripped from a nearby gum tree. Then the can of fuel. The tennis ball was drenched in petrol, placed on the piece of bark, then lit. What happened next happened in literally seconds ....

Everyone had put out their smokes and moved away from the pile of wood that was to be the bonnie. Except me. One of my bro's mates was on his phone chatting to his absent girlfriend. He noticed I hadn't moved, and was still smoking, but stayed on the phone (nice one, I have never let him forget that). The fuel had been drizzled (or gushed) over the bonnie as well. A vapour haze had developed. The ball was lit. It went straight up in flames of course. Then the vapours lit. The bark that was to be the launch pad for the ball (it was to be thrown flaming into the bonnie) was on fire. It all went to shit! The boys threw the bark, the surrounding vapours exploded and I kid you not the ground shook! I looked in horror at the spreading flames advancing towards me! They shot up my legs as I jumped into the air higher than anyone present thought was physically possible (holding my lit smoke and a glass of wine)! Then as quickly as they came the flames retracted back to the wood and settled into a massive bonfire! A cheer sounded!!! HOOOOOO!!!

I sat on the bench closest me and closed my eyes whilst taking a huge drag of my smoke. I was alive and not on fire. In fact, no one was even slightly hurt at all. Everyone had seen the flames engulf me and were all surprised I was unharmed. So was I!

Later that evening, the stupidity continued with guys walking through fire to see who was the most manly. One friend tripped and rolled through the fire, his lit cigarette still in his mouth as he rolled and rolled and rolled.

We may not have had police turn up at out place, or 500 people in the street, but these parties have stood the test of time and are still being talked about. They have become legend. And stories of survival!

Bon Jovi (update)

2008-01-16T20:26:00.000-08:00

OK, I know I am going to cop some flak for this, but as I am always window shopping, I happened upon a new ebay listing for FRONT ROW Jovi tix. No bidding this time ... they had a buy it now price. So I bought them ... just now.

I now have 6 tickets to the concert!!

PS With all these tickets, the grand sum is STILL less than the $2700 that the first auction I bid on went for. So I am happy. :)

Plus can sell 2 of them at least now :)

PLUS IT MEANS I GET TO BE FRONT ROW AT BON JOVI!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer number 2

2008-01-15T21:37:00.000-08:00

For my american readers ... to perve means to check somebody out. To appreciate the fine physique of another ... for example, when I drive along the coast and see a fine male body, I take a look. Let's hope that clears things up a little!! :D

Perving

2008-01-15T14:32:00.000-08:00

In my opinion, perving has been left to the males of our species for far too long. Fairly recent discussions with some of my female friends have left me gasping. They don't perve. Hardly any of them. They have a great partner so why do they need to? At least, that's their argument.

My argument is plain and simple. I am human, have 2 legs and a heartbeat. This means I am alive. Fortunately I also have perfect vision. This means I can see. Add those 2 things together and it means I have the means to perve.

I live on the coast, which presents some fantabulous perving opportunities. Athletic surfies unashamed of changing out of their wetties on the side of the road. I am truly surprised there are not more accidents along Marine Parade, Cottesloe. Add to the male species changing and there are bikini clad women everywhere too! It's an oglers paradise!

I will say also that I have no problems with hubby perving either. Why not? He too has 2 legs, a heartbeat and functioning eyes, so good luck to him! Perve away. Equal opp in this household.

We are making the move to the country at some stage this year. A tree change, if you will. I am slightly concerned that there will be no surfies to watch. The only hope I have is the possibility of some nice toned footballers bodies to perve at. Or at least monthly sojourns to the beach.

I feel my job is to get the chicks perving. Let's turn the tables! Guys have perved on us forever, yet there are still some of us girls out there that are yet to discover the pure bliss of a good perve. I believe that people love it. Whether they are pervers or pervees ... it's all good. It's a fantastic compliment to have someone perve at you so why not return the favour!!

PS Perve at chicks too. Why not!! ;)

Disclaimer

2008-01-14T20:42:00.000-08:00

In case any one misread my lingerie post, let me make this clear ....

I DO NOT OWN A SINGLE PAIR OF MATERNITY KNICKERS!

It's much more comfortable to just go commando ;)

Bon Jovi

2008-01-14T02:27:00.000-08:00

Well, I lost the auction.

Kinda glad though. The 2 tickets went for $2700!!! O.M.G.

I then found a listing for 2 tickets in the 8th row with a buy it now price ... so I did. :D

Saved myself a good 2 grand as well.

2 grand .. that's a lot of money .....

Lingerie

2008-01-13T22:25:00.000-08:00

Ok ok .. I admit to having a weakness for shopping. In fact, it's in my blood. Lately I have gotten much better at it as well (by lately I mean the last 12 months or so).

Beautiful day today. Perfect. Sun shining, not too hot .. perfect.

A girlfriend called me this morning and told me that her little boy had the German Measles. Poor little thing. O f course, that poses a little problem for me seeing as though I am pregnant!! Since I saw him just a couple of days ago, I called my OB GYN and asked his opinion. He wanted a rushed blood test to check my immunity.

Now the last time I had to go to the hospital for a blood test I was there for over 2 hours, with absolutely nothing to read and had left my ipod at home (d'oh!). So this time, I wanted to be prepared. I rang my babysitter, she was available and could be here by 1pm. Perfect.

Armed with 2 magazines, I went to the hospital. I kid you not, by 1.20pm I was out. Done. Finito. Blood drawn. Now I could hardly go home after just 20 minutes, so I decided to do what I do best ... shop.

Into Subiaco I went. Subi is such a gorgeous place to wander around if it's a nice day. And as it is near perfect outside, that's where I headed.

Now, I didn't NEED anything (what's the point of buying stuff you need?) so I decided to look at things that I might like ... lingerie.

Being 30 weeks pregnant makes lingerie buying a little hard, but I still managed to achieve fantastic results. A sexy new black bra lined with red ... hawt. Some gorgeous silky Willow panties and Calvin Klein bikini knicks ... plus the most beautiful purple CK's I have seen. Fairly successful, I thought.

I defy the image in one of my pregnancy books. It's of a heavily pregnant woman wearing the BIGGEST pair of undies I have ever seen. They go over her bump up to her bra line. Yeah. Exactly. Comfortable? Maybe. Also quite possibly the best method of contraception I have ever seen. I may be pregnant, but I'm not dead.

So, I don't view today as just another shopping trip. It was more a confidence boosting exercise. And my confidence is definately boosted, LOL!! One exercise any psych would be proud of!!

Bon Jovi

2008-01-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

Okay, I have a confession to make. My husband has not been the soul love of my life. Way before I met my husband, I had another love. It's a love that has stood the test of time. It has been going strong for more that 17 years now. It is my love for Jon Bon Jovi (and of course encompasses his band, Bon Jovi).

In 12 days time, I will be at their Perth concert. Months ago I bought tickets on a presale and had to wait until just this week to receive my tickets and learn my seat allocation. I was quietly confident. I was ticket buyer number 45 so was pretty sure that would mean front 2 rows ... I went to the post office to collect my special delivery. Hands shaking I opened the envelope. I looked down at the numbers .... SECTION B5!!!!! WTF?!?!?! I was beyond devastated. I was gutted. I admit, I cried. Ever supportive hubby reassured me ... "nevermind, there is always ebay" (he is aware of his place ... Bon Jovi first, then him. Smart man). We logged on to ebay. And there it was .. right in front of us (well to be more accurate, right at the bottom of page 2) .. FRONT ROW tickets to Bon Jovi.

So I placed a bid. Now I am watching it go higher and higher. I don't care. What price to be front row (particularly 33 weeks pregnant and front row!!)? The auction ends in a bit over a day. I will let you know ....

Smirnoff

2008-01-12T04:53:00.000-08:00

So I have to tell you a little story about Baby Number 3.

I am what you would call a pretty laid back kind of mum. And, with each pregnancy I have become even more relaxed. There are so many 'rules' you are meant to follow when you are pregnant. Don't take drugs. Don't smoke. Don't drink alcohol. Don't eat soft cheese or soft serve ice cream. Don't eat ham. Don't breathe in case you die ...

So, anyway, I neither smoke nor take drugs. But, I do have the odd drink of something alcoholic (I mean, come on, I already have 2 kids!! Sometimes stronger fluids than water are required!).

My first 2 pregnancies were entirely planned. To the point of shagging endlessly for the 6 or 7 days on either side of ovulation (too much information?? LOL). Both of them commenced with NEGATIVE pregnancy tests. Followed by absolutely huge piss ups!! And I mean really getting hammered. A few days after each piss up, the positive tests were done, much to my horror.

Baby number 3 was a little bit of a surprise. We initially thought, yeah .. let's have another baby. We tried unsuccessfully for a couple of months before realising that we were most likely insane, and should reconsider. That was cool, I wasn't pregnant. We holidayed in Broome for 2 weeks, where I consumed a huge amount of Smirnoff vodka and beer. Literally drinking every day. I had not long finished breast feeding and was really well and truly letting my hair down.

Upon our return from Broome, after a couple of weeks, I decided to do a pregnancy test. I didn't think I was pregnant at all, as I never have any symptoms of any kind. Low and behold, OMG, I was pregnant. No worries, I thought. Holiday baby :)

I went to see my wonderful obstetrician. I love that man. He is something of a God, I am sure of it. He whips out the sonograph machine, puts it on my then much smaller belly, and says, "WHOA! Big baby!!" Then he paused ... then, "hang on ... not big, just big for the dates you have given me!!"

It appears Baby Number 3 was not a holiday baby after all. Baby number 3 was in fact conceived BEFORE our winter break. I thought of all the vodka I drank. I told my ob gyn. He laughed. Then he reassured me. Then I named our number 3 Smirnoff (only in womb mind you).