Flat out like a lizard drinking!

It's been an extraordinary few months and so much is going on at the moment. Working 5 and a half days a week leaves little time for socialising or relaxation and with Christmas rapidly approaching ... lets just say I'm flat out like a lizard drinking!

I have invested a lot of money into my shop and it looks amazing. The difference since I took over is awesome and the feedback I have been getting is fantastic. Next week I have a web designer coming to see me. I was planning on waiting until after Christmas to work on my site, but as fate would have it one Saturday afternoon shortly before closing I h ad some customers in who were just totally in awe of my shop. The following Monday I received a phone call from this guy who loved the shop so much than when he got home he checked to see if I was online. When he hit my site and saw the coming soon page he called me up to ask me if I had anyone lined up. I told him I had nothing set in concrete so he offered to come to me to talk about it! I was stoked. With time being so short, having someone willing to come to me is a huge bonus. So this week I will be meeting with him to start designing my site. I'm quite excited by this :)

My plans for the direction of my shop have been somewhat dampened however by this whole stupid economy at the moment though. I am trying to deal with a few international suppliers but it's damn hard with the dollar the way it is currently. I'm still going to go ahead, but I'm crossing my fingers that it's not TOO long before there's a bounce back, otherwise I'll have to come up with a new objective. Luckily for me, I'm not the most stupid person around so I am working on a few other more profitable (for the time being) ideas. Looks like I might be making a little trip up to Sydney again soon for one of these reasons :D

There's a few big trade fairs coming up, a massive one in Sydney in February and another in New York in March that I am going to try my hardest to get to. Just gotta get through Christmas first ...

So, it's all good in my little world at the moment, and I hope it stays this way!

I wanna be a kid again!

Wasn't life sooooo much easier when you were young? I mean, you lived at home, no rent or mortgage repayments, no bills, your mum did your washing, cooked your dinner and drove you around. All I had to do was feed the kitties and keep my room clean. I had a weekend job and any money I made was mine, all mine!! I paid no tax (cos I earned no money basically lol) and had zero responsibility.

Sure, I had relationship problems. I had an on/off boyfriend how was basically a total jerk, but I 'loved' him sooooooo much that I kept forgiving him for all his shit. The little jerk was such a wanker but hell he was cute, so .... ;P

He broke my heart, but a week later I had a new love. He too broke my heart, then I broke a few hearts, then ... oh I think about then I turned 18 and started to think and try to act like an adult!!

At the time I thought my life was so full of complications and problems and hassles! If only I knew what was to come ....

Retrospect is a wonderful thing, but geez it pisses me off. All those things I could have avoided if only I'd known. But on the other hand, hell I've had some fun making mistakes!

These days I'm responsible for 3 little kids. I'm responsible for feeding them, clothing them and keeping them happy and safe. It's the single most biggest stress of my life. Because I want them to never want for anything. I want them to always be in good health. I want them always to smile. I never want them to experience hurt. Of course, I know these things are inevitable.

Now I am the major breadwinner for our family my stress levels have gone through the roof. I think I now know what my husband has been going through for the last how ever many years. I constantly worry that I'm going to fail ... yet at the same time I have such ambition to make sure that I don't. My moods yoyo from extreme optimism to self doubt. I feel like a totally hormonal bitch at times, which is so strange for me as I am not your 'typical' chick. I've never had hormonal swings before.

So, yeah ... take me back to being 17 again ... hell it was easy back then!!!

Although, you know, with all that I have had and all that I have experienced ... all my heart breaks and all my loves ... all the people who have been a part of my life and helped to shape who I am ... all the conversations I have shared with those who mean the most to me .... most of these have occurred in the years since I became an adult. So, on second thoughts, maybe I am happy where I am, with the knowledge that there is more really good stuff (and really shitty stuff) to come.